Here’s a fine tribute to your Fiesta Bowl champion Texas Longhorns.

And by fine, we mean fine.

Texas quarterback, Colt McCoy, can match Tim Tebow not only on the gridiron, but in the bedroom.

McCoy’s girlfriend is hot. Her name is Rachel Glandorf, for those keeping score.

(11 votes, average: 4.27 out of 5)
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“It’s a young man standing on top of a naked woman’s body”

There’s a quote that could be found in a variety of different places, including but not limited to: Playboy magazines, RedTube.com and the green mountains of Vermont?

There’s more to slopes then just sexy lingerie.

Burton Snowboards have pushed the envelope and gone X-rated in its most recent line of boards. Now, the Vermont-based company is offering uncensored snowboards featuring, well, girls + titties!

It’s a hot topic in a cold state, so says the Boston Globe:

Yet the company has found itself at the center of a growing controversy in the liberal state, with residents, students, and politicians debating free speech and sexism on the ski slopes. The Burlington City Council discussed asking Burton to withdraw the boards, and the Girl Scout Council of Vermont is considering taking concerns to lawmakers next month.

First off, why the hell is the Girl Scout Council of Vermont interfering with this process? Shouldn’t they be showing the little scouts what career opportunities are available in the future?

Sure, snowboarding is a popular sport at all ages. But to those who think “OMG Like little kids r gunna see boobz!!!!!!” think about it this way: If you’re a 24-year-old dude riding these new Burton sexboards, there’s no reason that a 7-year-old should even see the board.

Why? Because you’re 24 — and obviously without a girlfriend — and should be experienced enough to ride more advanced trails than the 7-year-olds. If not, then you need to rethink life in general — your issues go way beyond a possible titty slip on a bunny trail.

1. To all those so-called college basketball analysis/experts who even remotely thought North Carolina could go undefeated in the ACC: What were you on?

2. Taking the Boston-New York rivalry a little too far: BC says they’ll fire coach if he merely interviews for Jets’ job.

3. HOW-EV-AH, if all that propaganda came true, Kevin Garnett wouldn’t be opposed to teaming up. And that’s coming from a crazy mothafucka who crawls up on people.

Barry Bonds is still set on playing Major League Baseball again. He’s got a hip procedure on the line to prove it.

But what the 44-year-old home run king* can’t keep from the loyal baseball enthusiasts is that he probably fell down the stairs while reading the label on his newest prescription.

No, wait. Maybe one of the legs on his walker got tripped up in a man hole, and he fell.

Maybe he was playing bingo at the local home for retired folk. Oh, but that’s right, he isn’t retired yet. That’s what he’ll tell you. So we’ll call it a “Life after Work” home. That’s more politically correct.

So, MLB owners: Who wants a 44-year-old, juicing recipient of a reconstructed hip?

Before Brandon Jennings became the Brandon Jennings, back in the days of being a Compton youngin’ destined for Roman greatness, “Young Money” was rolling around with big names like Tyson Chandler, who currently plays in the NBA with the Hornets.

But at 7-foot-1, Chandler has done anything but make a young Jennings look great. Rather, the young teen looks like a runner right out of Ethiopia, looking for a cure to one of the 14 plagues haunting him.

Thank goodness for all the scrumptious pasta in Italy!

USC’s Rey Maualuga, best described as the Chuck Norris of college football, can do what he wants. Rules do not apply.

Maybe it’s because he punk fools like this and this. Either way, with such a level of badassness, Maualuga officially gets his name transformed into a verb. And who better to debut it on than Erin Andrews?

Surely, someday “getting Maualuga’d” will turn into a YouTube phenomenon, as did the stanky legg did. Until then, all we can do is provide video evidence of Miss Erin getting startled and moderately freaked out following the world’s first exposure to getting Maualuga’d.

Hat tip to SPORTSbyBROOKS.

[full size via flickr]

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When does the line between friendship and dickheadedness become blurry? When a dude says he’s trying to stop his buddy from driving drunk by shooting paintballs as his windshield.

He said Wallace, who was arrested on suspicion of unlawfully discharging a weapon and an unrelated misdemeanor warrant, told officers he was covering the windshield in paintballs to prevent its owner from driving under the influence of alcohol.

As if driving drunk presented enough visual problems, you wanna to cover his windshield with paint. Doesn’t matter what color you use — red, blue, green or shit colored, he’s still not going to be able to see a damn thing.

Next time you want to help a friend out, squeeze your head in a vice.