Tim Donaghy is the cat that swore he didn’t eat the pet bird, but he’s got feathers coming out of his mouth. And what does he do to counteract? He blames the dog.

The former NBA referee alleged that Game 6 of the Lakers-Kings playoff series in 2002 was impacted by the disgusting actions of two of the three zebras who worked the game, according to a filing made by Donaghy’s lawyer in U.S. District Court in New York yesterday.

You got caught for gambling on the game, Donaghy. Take your fines and your prison sentencing like a damn man and quit pointing your gambling fingers.

The NBA’s commissioner, David Stern is in an uproar, and for good reason. He “vehemently denied the allegations, saying they are the desperate act of a convicted felon,” according to Chris Sheridan of ESPN.com. “We welcome scrutiny here. This is something that should be scrutinized.”

This season was going great. No more gambling refs, a Superman cameo at the NBA All-Star game and a Finals between the most historical rivalry in the sport.

It was like the Hollywood masterpiece that somehow made it through the writers’ strike.

Let’s get something straight. Stern isn’t my favorite dude. Sometimes I wish he would take those goofy frameless glasses off his round, floppy-skinned face and take a look at himself in the mirror. Then slap himself. Then turn around so I can hit him with a sock full of wood screws.

After all, he fined Gilbert Arenas $10,000 because he didn’t wear the right kind of suit coat when he sat on the bench. The NBA is not place for a fashion show. Be thankful Hibachi didn’t dress up like Clinton Portis, the clown of the NFL. What’s next, are you gonna ban tattoos as well? Fine the NBA’s players and coaches insulting reporters or referees, but don’t take their money away because they’re not dressed up to go to prom.

But I do commend Stern for his disapproval at these allegations. He stood up for his employer — which is a no-brainer — and he stood up against a wrong-doer who’s trying to make up for being a dumbass.

In the letter submitted by Donaghy’s attorney, the following “manipulation” is alleged:

“Referees A, F and G were officiating a playoff series between Teams 5 and 6 in May of 2002. It was the sixth game of a seven-game series, and a Team 5 victory that night would have ended the series. However, Tim learned from Referee A that Referees A and F wanted to extend the series to seven games. Tim knew referees A and F to be “company men,” always acting in the interest of the NBA, and that night, it was in the NBA’s interest to add another game to the series. Referees A and F heavily favored Team 6. Personal fouls [resulting in obviously injured players] were ignored even when they occurred in full view of the referees. Conversely, the referees called made-up fouls on Team 5 in order to give additional free throw opportunities for Team 6. Their foul-calling also led to the ejection of two Team 5 players. The referees’ favoring of Team 6 led to that team’s victory that night, and Team 6 came back from behind to win that series.”

Maybe there is some truth in the allegations. After all, the “criminal,” as Stern called Donaghy, is the one who has the inside scoop. As Stephen A. Smith pointed out, Tim Duncan was ejected for laughing once. Rasheed Wallace was thrown out for staring. What is this, second grade?

But you’ve gotta think that Donaghy is just trying to get the league back for its request for $1 million restitution. He’s trying to get his final words in before he’s sentenced on June 14. He’s trying to step on other peoples’ balls as he can before his own are squished in a vice.

So here’s to you, Mr. Stern, for standing up for your league. You’ve certainly done the right thing this time around. Here’s to three more days — leading up to Donaghy’s sentencing — of you being noble, knowing the difference between right and wrong and not letting a “criminal” push you around.

After that — it’s a shame to say — you’ll go back to douchebagery. How sad.

Photos Courtesy NYTimes.com (Stern) and Cacophonycafe.files.wordpress.com (Donaghy)