BOSTON — In its sixth parade since 2001, Boston finally hosted a victory lap without the previously accustomed miserable February afternoon or dreary October skies from Patriots and Red Sox rolling rallies. None of that — just 75 degrees and enough sunshine to give Brian “Albino” Scalabrini a second-degree sunburn. (Wait… Actually, I didn’t even see him. Can we confirm this?)

But with the hot weather came one of the most unexpected subplots in today’s Boston Celtics NBA Championship victory parade — the emergence of… even hotter women in New England.

Just absolute smoke shows this afternoon, by far the sexiest New England sports fans I’ve ever seen. Sure, typically using the term “New England’s sexiest sports fans” would fare no better than “Northern Canada’s sexiest hairdressers,” but this afternoon was different. Seemed like all the pretty Lakers fans from southern California switched allegiances — we’ve seen this before; why not go both ways? Regardless, it was a huge delightful surprise to the rest of us after spending the past five parades — tough life, I know — in Northface winter parkas. (Side note: At the Patriots’ 2004 parade, I did see a pair of nicely plush pair of tits. Her husband started the “show us your tits” chant).

I wasn’t alone in this realization. My buddy Chris and I exchanged the “Holy Shit Eyebrow Raise” at least a dozen times throughout the afternoon, spotting dime shows in flocks and bunches. The blonde hair, beach bronzed tans and tight bodies — the whole package just seemed better with a hint sunlight in June.

“I saw more perfect 10s today than I’ve seen in the past year,” Chris said. “But maybe it was just the Celtics green making them look so good.”

Undoubtedly, a turnout like this instantly lifts the Celtics to the No. 1 spot in New England’s hottest female fan base, drastically far above the No. 2 Patriots (who have Tom Brady) and No. 3 Red Sox (don’t have Tom Brady).

Because the Palm Trio has a shitty camera, none of those “Secretly Let’s Pretend I’m Using My Phone While I’m Actually Creeping A Picture Of You” shots came out (literally). Thankfully, the professionals took care of everything with a few shots I nabbed on the Boston.com. I’ll keep looking.

More parade coverage to continue throughout the day, after I nap.