I bet you laughed when you saw ESPN 8, The Ocho on Dodgeball.

But guess what? Though it was a spoof, the movie wasn’t very far off. ESPN has been covering the Outdoor Games for years. The STIHL TIMBERSPORTS Pro Series U.S. Championships kicks off today and will re-air at a later date.

And as crazy as it is for a bunch of overly-buff men to compete to see who can chop a log the fastest, you’ll watch it when it’s on TV. And why not? It’s more active than pool, bowling or spelling bees, and those make it onto ESPN, right?

And that’s a complete shame. It’s giving brainless lumberjacks undeserved attention. Get a life. Spend time with your family and stop chopping so much damn wood. We’re trying to save the trees, remember? That’s why I throw my newspapers in the bin next to the garbage can. Save the earth you scrubs.

This “sport” also gives guys like Jean-Pierre Mercier, who handcrafts racing saws, tons of money for providing tools to the brainless lumberjacks. It’s a vicious cycle.

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This is the biggest douchebag in the existence of mankind. Listen through and we’re sure you’ll agree.

If Dmitri represented a professional athlete, who would he be? Enlighten us, please.

Big ups to Randy R. for the catch on HolyTaco.

Please, just stop.

I’m borderline embarrassed to be a Red Sox fan these days — almost to the point of saying, “I miss Dan Duquette’s (non-existant) marketing staff.”

Eric Wilbur of Boston.com (ironically, the birthplace of Sox Saturate: Soxuration) eloquently described what the force-fed ‘Red Sox Nation’ has cultivated into, much to the despise of our non-bandwagon generation of fans — pre-2004. Fathers, mothers, aunts, cousins- everybody. They relish all of it. They love to flash their fancy World Series merchandise, talk about Jacoby’s cuteness and buy into becoming an ‘official’ bandwagoner.

It’s the sole reason why the Red Sox went from most beloved to most despised in just a mere four years.

It’s a capitalistic cult, saturated beyond the boiling point.

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The Stephen A. Smith Professional Heckling Society returned to last night’s NBA Draft after a stellar back-to-back seasons in 2006, 2007. In their third annual showing (wow, three years already) these men are, quite frankly, brilliant. (If not aleady done so, watch the first two).

(via Fanhouse and dedicated to Deadspin’s departing editor, Will)

The NBA Draft, where “Wow, Where Did That $40,000 Pre-Contract Loan Go?” happens. (TSC photos)

Steve Nash was in New York City on Wednesday, but he wasn’t there for the NBA Draft the next day. The Suns’ point guard and USA soccer captain Claudio Reyna put together an 8-on-8 celebrity soccer game for charity at Sara D. Roosevelt Park featuring NBA players and world soccer stars.

Baron Davis, Jason Kidd, Raja Bell, Leandro Barbosa, Thierry Henry, Claudio Reyna and Saloman Kalou took part in the event, among others.

Nash is the soccer guru out of all the NBA guys in the bunch and it showed when his team (yellow) won 9-4. But it was Davis who stood out among the hardwood ballers.

Though it was an event that was just for kicks – literally – Davis, wearing a huge smile the entire time, showed his true competitiveness. He juked defenders, he headed the ball with his cap on, he pumped up his sneaks, and yes, he earned a yellow card:

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They haven’t even been drafted yet and the 7-foot Lopez twins are already endorsing a major brand.

Goodbye to the old Doublemint twins. Hello to the new, not-so-attractive twins.

Brook and Robin Lopez made an appearance outside of Madison Square Garden this morning to promote the chewing gum and the fact that Robin really, really needs a haircut.

As soon as they turn 21, the Lopez twins are taking over for the Coors twins:

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When John Daly and Kid Rock got together to be part of a celebrity pro-am golf tournament in Grand Blanc, Mich., yesterday, everyone was aware of what could possibly happen. But nobody could have scripted what actually happened in a more festive and redneck manner.

Here’s what might have been said as John Daly and Kid Rock walked to the tee:

Kid Rock: Hey Tubbs, did you check out my sweetass overalls?

John Daly: You’re the trash of Detroit. Why’d we get paired up as partners? I thought you were a cowboy, bay-bee.

Kid Rock: Cowboys wear overalls these days. It’s what I use to draw attention since I’m a washup. What are you going to use to draw attention to yourself, besides that giant belly?

John Daly: I’m gonna hit the ball off of a 24-ounce can of Budweiser.
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