College student-athletes usually appear in the police beat for drinking, drugs or violence. (Or all three).

Then there’s Penn State basketball player, Stanley Pringle, who got a little too horny during a study sesh.

Pringle, no relation to the snack, was caught masturbating near a woman at the PSU library in March.

Yesterday, the Whack Attack case ended and now allows Pringle to “enter a first-time offenders program that could clear his record,” according the Daily Collegian.

The victim then reported hearing a “smacking sound, like Pringle’s hand was smacking against the skin of his body,” according to the complaint. Police said she also told them Pringle began making moaning sounds after answering his cell phone.

“This is how I chill ma’am,” Pringle told the investigating officer, placing his hand down the front of his sweatpants, according to the criminal complaint.

He also asked the officer: “Why would I need to masturbate?” according to the complaint.

As if his last name wasn’t already a potential punchline, Pringle will never, ever live this down for the rest of his life. Teammates, opponents, friends, and his grandchildren surely have the most optimal comebacks (cumbacks) in every situation.

And how prime is this for student sections across the Big Ten? I can see the signs now:

• “Our library is jerk-free!”
• “Pringle: Once you pop the fun won’t stop! (Until she tells on you!)”
• “Two Girls, One Pringle”
• “Pringle aint got nothin’ on Master Bates!”