Robert Paxton, shown at right helping Sweet Sue get her drunk on with a mini keg, is your average college president. He only wants what’s best for the students of Iowa Central Community College, even as they get shitty on this July 4 at West Lake Okoboji.

Now, this wouldn’t be such a bad thing if Paxton was a student-president. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he was even in his late 20s or early 30s. But Paxton, 52, is your real-life Blue Palasky.

Paxton’s comeback? It was part of his personal life, not his college life.

“I take the kids out water-skiing, stop for a few minutes — and they’re not even kids,” Paxton said. “There was a 27- or 28-year-old on there, a 24-year-old on there, you know. It’s my own private life.”

Well guess what, Mr. Paxton Palasky? That means you’re old enough to be their father. Which is creepy and reminds us of a certain other president from the 1998 era.

God bless America.