Congo Nation! Oww oww owwwwwww!

Athletes go to extraordinary measures to ensure a win, whether it’s spending that extra time in the weight room, grabbing the syringe to inject juice into the buttox, or even wearing the timeless rally cap.

Some are so confident that they even make guarantees (hey, Anthony Smith!). But in the creativity department, the country of Congo has everyone beat.

During one of those soccer matches that foreigners love, a player actually attempted to use witchcraft to win à la Salem, Mass., circa 1692.

Nyuki club was losing to local rivals Socozaki on Sunday when Nyuki’s goalkeeper advanced up the field and tried to use “fetishist” spells to turn the tide of the match, Okapi said, without giving more details.

When a police commander tried to break up an ensuing brawl between rival players, members of the crowd pelted him with rocks, the radio added.

End result? At least 11 were killed in the ensuing riot.

Lakers coach Phil Jackson asks: What’s the big deal? He uses the “Zen Master” instead of calling timeouts — which, for the record, didn’t calm the Sasha Vujacic Hype Bitch Machine earlier this year — so what’s a little witchcraft now and then?

In fact, give us one good reason why the entire population of New England shouldn’t use this “fetishist” spell on Bernard Pollard?

Or why PGA Tour commish Tim Finchem shouldn’t use the “holy shit nobody is watching, please revive yourself” spell on Tiger’s knee?

Or why the nation’s entire male species should use the “just get naked for Playboy” spell on Erin Andrews?

A wise man once said, “whatever it takes to win.” Take note, Jim Trussel.