Parcells, in his younger years, still has no shot at being looked upon as a free agent

Is “free agent” really the correct term?

In just one year at in the front office, Dolphins executive vice president of football operations Bill Parcells already accomplished a South Beach-sized makeover from last year’s dismal 1-15 squad. You know, the Miami Makeover that includes fake tits, spray-on tan and stripper hair extensions.

Well an extension might not be in Parcells forecast, who may utilize an opt-out clause in his contract in light of whether Wayne Huizenga sells his majority ownership of the Dolphins. Parcells has the option to peace outta Miami with his entire $12 guaranteed contract if Huizenga decides to do such.

When we think of current “free agents,” an old tuna-smelling white dude isn’t the first thing that comes to mind. But rather, star athletes searching for employment like Sammy Sosa, P.J. Brown, Pedro Martinez, and a frozen Ted Williams would better associate with the term “free agency.”

Scott Boras, please take note.