Wanna know everything you already don’t know about Bengals’ receiver Chad Ochocino? If you have an iPhone or an iPod Touch, now you can, for just $4.99.

Per ESPN:

For $4.99, Ochocinco fans can follow his daily exploits in photos, videos and tweets. They can ask his advice on dating or anything else, send their own photos for posting, and track where he is each day when he’s on the road.

All Ochocinco, all the time.

“If you can’t fly here to chill with me you can with this app,” Ochocinco informed fans through a post on his Twitter account.

There’s no word yet if the app will be in English or in numerically-incorrect Spanish.

Lance Stephenson has committed to play college ball for Cincinnati.

Why is this big news? Because the No. 12 recruit in the nation, according to ESPNU’s top 1oo. He’s No. 11 according to Rivals.com, but he was the last one in the top 100 to commit to a school.

Nobody seemed to want him.

This was a McDonald’s All-American guard who shared a cover of SLAM Magazine with John Wall, this year’s No. 1 overall player, but he’s already gone through a sexual assult case and his attitude is less than stellar.

He was once a top prospect for almost any school that could get their hands on him. Maryland, Memphis and playing overseas were some of his final choices. Now Stephenson is a BearCat. The team went 18-14 in the Big East last season and finished off strong: 0-4.

What’s even more important, however, is learning just what the hell a Bearcat is. Via Wikipedia (the more reliable source of all time):

The Binturong (Arctictis binturong), also known as the Asian Bearcat, the Palawan Bearcat, or simply the Bearcat, is a species of the family Viverridae, which includes the civets and genets. It is neither a bear nor a cat, and the real meaning of the original name is lost, as the local language that gave it is extinct^[3]. Its natural habitat is in trees of forest canopy in rainforest of Bangladesh, Bhutan, Burma, China, India, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Nepal, the Philippines, Thailand, and Vietnam.^[1]

It is nocturnal and sleeps on branches. It eats primarily fruit, but also has been known to eat eggs, shoots, leaves, and small animals, such as rodents or birds. Deforestation has greatly reduced its numbers. When cornered, the Binturong can be vicious. The Binturong can make chuckling sounds when it seems to be happy and utter a high-pitched wail if annoyed. The Binturong can live over 20 years in captivity; one has been recorded to have lived almost 26 years.

A high profile guy like O.J. Mayo has certainly surrounded himself with promoters and star-milking agents during his really, really sketchy tenure at USC.

But this time, the Memphis rookie has taken the opportunity upon himself to do some good ‘ole fashioned self-promoting using the Facebook Machine. As seen on his profile’s updated status, he wants America to “vote for me on nba.com”

It’s a harmless request that, more times than not, draws an embarrassing amount of immediate fanboy feedback, now that Facebook allows users to comment on pretty much everything. Observe:

. . . Wait . . . What? . . .

Read more…

Here at The Sports Culture Ethics Bureau, we do not condone illegal behavior or following through on acts of malice, but you know what? Sometimes, they just gotta let shit fly.

FBI officials said Friday they’ve arrested a man who threatened to blow up the Cincinnati Bengals stadium. Yeah, save the airports and bridges, but can’t they just pretend to be distracted when he says he’s going to ka-blam the Bengals’ stadium?

We wouldn’t want anyone in the stadium at the time. But at least the team would be left without a home for the rest of the season. It could possibly make the team forfeit the rest of its games and end with a modest 1-9 record before it gets any worse.

FBI’s always spoiling the fun. Sheesh.