This is a pretty funny list coming from Terrell Owens, but how the hell is No. 8 a piece of advice? It’s a statement, and nothing more.

That’s like saying, Hey kids, here’s a great piece of advice you should know about: Knives are sharp, my head is bald, grocery store bathrooms have toilet paper than feels more like sandpaper, Skip Bayless is an assbag, Barry Bonds won’t ever play professional baseball again, Michael Jordan is rich, Jo-Lo has a big butt, Shaq sucks at free throw shooting, Stuart Scott has a lazy eye, red cups are better than blue cups, grass is green, Pamala Anderson has big boobs, and Tiger Woods is good at golf and tuition is expensive.

The Sun Devils seem a bit hefty. That's the real shocker.

The fact that President Bush is flashing the trident, Arizona State’s version of the shocker, doesn’t really surprise us. After all, he’s got the national champion track team with him, and he’s doing his best to blend in with the group. No harm done.

What does shock us, however, is the fact that several of the people in this photograph have absolutely no room to compete on a track team. Literally. Being the size of some of these people, how on earth would you be able to run 100 meters, leap into the pit of a long jump, or spring yourself up on a pole vault?

That’s the real shocker here.

Yes, do as Brandon Jennings does.

Average 18.3 minutes and 7.6 points per game over nine games in Europe, and get your own T-shirts, shoes, and enough money to buy as many Gucci bags as your closet will hold.

Rome sweet home.

• Held his partner, Sinead Kerr, upside down during their Ice Dance Free Dance during the Eric Bompard Trophy Figure Skating Grand Prix at Bercy arena in Paris on Saturday.
• Received public fellatio.
• Wished he could get hard to enjoy his fellatio, but it’s just too damn cold.
• Said, “peek-a-boo!”
• Got his right hand stuck. Where’d it go?

As huge fans of the Stephen. A Smith Heckling Society movement, we would like to give a shout-out to this belated election notice. How-ev-ah, despite discovering this almost two weeks away after the election, it’s still worth the watch given the excess sports (and Slava Medvedenko) references.

Editor’s Note: Now more than halfway point of the college football season, The Sports Culture has taken the liberty to release its own premiere BCS ranking system . . . based on your school’s ugly ass cheerleaders.

Each team in the Pac-10, SEC and Big 12 will get their chance at earning your ranking.

Depending on where schools end up in their conference will depend on which slutty bowl they earn.

Welcome to the Southeastern Conference! Where hot chicks migrate to cities like Tuscaloosa. It’s truly a phenomenon.

Inside this edition: Ole Miss

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Here’s a recipe for some quick 3rd-grade humor: Replace “bass” and “fish” with “bitch,” and substitute “him” with “her” and “he” with “she.”

Rinse and repeat.

Ok, so this was less than a half-court battle, best to three points and Michael Jordan’s “Flight School.” MJ was just having a good time and giving maybe 10 percent effort. He also hit two long balls when his opponent, CEO and Chairman John Rogers if Ariel Investments, got his buckets with layups.

But the fact remains that this dude beat Michael Jordan. And even if you beat Michael Jordan in Rock, Paper, Scissors, it’s still a big deal

Thanks to NESW for the find.