Tiger Woods is in a coma after eating poisoned apple
The media is clever.
They has us all thinking Tiger Woods was taking a sabbatical from golf until January to get surgery done on his knee. But TSC has learned the truth: Earth’s god of golf is actually in a coma-like state of mind.
Tiger’s “dormant state,” as doctors have begun calling it, is the result of a poisonous Granny Smith apple Tiger ate on the 16th tee during the playoff round between him and Rocky Mediate at the 108th U.S. Open.
After falling behind to Mediate at the 16th, Tiger went for the apple, which an accomplis of Mediate had earlier tainted with an unknown poison. After devouring most of the apple, Tiger is said to have thrown the core in frustration. Then he sent the round to sudden death: exactly what the Mediate clan had hopped for.