1. Create a diversion using the Celtics Dancers.

It’s hard to tell whether Boston really has the advantage here, as we discussed with our Celtics Dancers/Laker Girls Scouting Report. Some say the Laker Girls are sexier and more distracting. Others say that a booty shaker clad in green causes more cases of A-D-D. It’s really a toss up. The winner of this diversion could go either way. Kinda like Tila Tequila.

2. Put up a smoke screen.

The Celics have to have the most rediculous and most amazing pregame show in the NBA but the Buzzer Beater makes a valid point. It does cause smoke to linger for a long time. Because the Green Men experience it each home game, Boston does have a huge advantage. But, just like its opponent, it’s also a huge disadvantage because it is, well, fucking smoke. Honestly, who can play in a haze like that? Well, except for Josh Howard.

3. Taint the water supply.

Each half in an NBA game can drag on forever and it might be quite some time until you get back to your locker room. And Gatorade can run through you. The Celts were hoping to speed up draining of the pee-bag and force the players to piss in a towel like Kansas State forward Bill Walker once did. Didn’t work this time.

4. The disappearing act.

Another tactic that worked against the Celts. Now you see it, now you don’t. Lamar Odom’s balls still haven’t shown up after Paul Pierce kneed him in the groin en route to a layup at the start of the fourth quarter in Game 5. If you have a video of this, please share it. And if you’ve seen Lamar’s balls, share that info, too.

Photos Courtesty berniehubert.com (Garnet), missxpose.com (Odom), The Daily Telegraph (Water), daemonstv.com (Tila Tequila)