Tom Brady going down took the majority of fantasy football players, bent them over and fucked them in the butt without lube. Most would say it felt like a splintery broomstick that was snapped in half.
Need more incentive to give up on fantasy football for the rest of the season? Watch this:
BOSTON — In its sixth parade since 2001, Boston finally hosted a victory lap without the previously accustomed miserable February afternoon or dreary October skies from Patriots and Red Sox rolling rallies. None of that — just 75 degrees and enough sunshine to give Brian “Albino” Scalabrini a second-degree sunburn. (Wait… Actually, I didn’t even see him. Can we confirm this?)
But with the hot weather came one of the most unexpected subplots in today’s Boston Celtics NBA Championship victory parade — the emergence of… even hotter women in New England.
Just absolute smoke shows this afternoon, by far the sexiest New England sports fans I’ve ever seen. Sure, typically using the term “New England’s sexiest sports fans” would fare no better than “Northern Canada’s sexiest hairdressers,” but this afternoon was different. Seemed like all the pretty Lakers fans from southern California switched allegiances — we’ve seen this before; why not go both ways? Regardless, it was a huge delightful surprise to the rest of us after spending the past five parades — tough life, I know — in Northface winter parkas. (Side note: At the Patriots’ 2004 parade, I did see a pair of nicely plush pair of tits. Her husband started the “show us your tits” chant).