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Joey Chestnut sucks at sucking noodles, should stick to swallowing wieners

September 3rd, 2008 Trance No comments

Joey Chestnut proved that his pride is as American as his name when he took down Takeru Kobayaski in the 92nd annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest, putting down 66 hot dogs and buns in 12 minutes. And like his All-American name and All-American eating habits, Chestnut proved that he’d rather eat an All-American hot dog meal over an Italian dish any day.

Chestnut didn’t eat enough at Ohio’s Skyline Chili Spaghetti eating contest yesterday. Bob Shoudt ate 11.5 pounds at the Kings Island amusement park, while Chestnut at 11.2 pounds.

Chili Spaghetti looks and sounds pretty delish, but 11-plus pounds? Not even Lady and the Tramp would be able to do that. Pretty impressive, even for second place.

But the fact remains, Chestnut didn’t win. And in America — as he should know by now — it’s all about winning, baby. Stick to the wieners, Chestnut.