Shaq’s Rap: “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes”

Posted by Reezy on June 23rd, 5:27 pm

We all know Shaq doesn’t “give a shit” about what he says — that’s why we like him. But last night’s freestyle raps in NYC brought The Big Sahuaro from “Like it” to “Gotta Have it” on our Cold Stone Athlete Appreciation Scale.

The Phoenix Suns center was in the club spitting like he’s done before, but with a twist. He whipped out a freestyle rap aimed directly at his former teammate Kobe Bryant. He smiled often, even though he brought up the subject of Kobe destroying his marriage.

“I’m a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that’s why I’m getting divorced.”

This stems from a comment Kobe made right after he raped that white girl in Colorado.

“Should have done what Shaq does,” Kobe said. “Shaq would pay his women not to say anything.”

We thought Lil Wayne’s Lollipop remix to Banner No. 17 was good, but straight up Shaq Deisel brought it like none other. It’s just classic.

Wait… that was far from just spitting rhymes… he had the fucking chorus — err, rather, the whole nightclub — saying “Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes!” by the end of the video clip, powered by TMZ.com.

It’s good to see the Big Man having fun and making everyone but Kobe enthusiasts fall in love with him one line at a time. He mentions rap greats Diddy and Biggie and shuts down Kobe. But maybe the best line in the entire rap:

“I love ‘em. I don’t leave ‘em. I got a vasectomy. Now I can’t breed ‘em.”

Reached by ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith today, O’Neal issued the following statement:

“I was freestyling. That’s all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC’s do. They freestyle when called upon. I’m totally cool with Kobe. No issue at all. And by the way, don’t forget, six albums, two platinum, two gold. Anybody who knows me knows I’m a funny freestyler. Check the NBA DVD when I was wrapping about Vlade Divac during my first championship run. Please tell everybody don’t make something out of nothing.”

Tags: NBA

8 responses so far ↓

1 Mrs. Kobe has a badonkadonk // Jun 24, 2008 at 6:39 pm

[...] Bryant wasn’t in town to hear Shaq tell him to kiss his ass. In fact, he wasn’t even in the [...]
2 Rapper Nas sides with Shaq and says “Fuck Kobe” // Jun 25, 2008 at 1:43 am

[...] of a restaurant with his wife, Kelis, Nas was approached by a TMZ.com crew. The rapper sided with Shaq’s rap against Kobe Bryant and jumped straight at No. 24’s [...]
3 Does Anybody Likes Kobe Bryant? « Prolific Society // Jun 25, 2008 at 5:21 am

[...] his wife, Kelis. When asked his thoughts on Shaq’s diss to Kobe Bryant the rapper sided with Shaq’s rap against Kobe Bryant and jumped straight at No. 24’s [...]
4 Shaq’s raps heading to a Disney Channel near you // Jun 30, 2008 at 9:59 am

[...] must have anticipated that his rap would bring The Valley of the Sun a new cultural phenomenon — of all [...]
5 The Brain Leak | NationalSportsReview.com // Jul 1, 2008 at 1:49 pm

[...] Shaquille O’Neal: You might want to choose your words a little more carefully the next time you decide to act half your age. It’s possible you could actually sound intelligent. Your despicable display of immaturity and disrespect was entirely uncalled for. Furthermore, it may have been more of a disgrace to the art of rapping than it was to overall human decency. [...]
6 New apparel for all Kobe Bryant haters hits the Internet world // Jul 7, 2008 at 5:35 pm

[...] no question about it. But when Shaq-Fu took the stage of a NYC nightclub and told Kobe to tell him how his ass tastes, you can almost be certain he didn’t have a marketing scheme hidden under his [...]
7 My ass tastes fine: At least Shaq respects Kobe’s game | The Sports Culture // Oct 9, 2008 at 12:15 pm

[...] The ultimate slam from Shaq to Kobe was his Kobe, Tell me how my ass tastes rap. [...]
8 Dude, let’s start a rock band | The Sports Culture // Nov 8, 2008 (2 weeks ago) at 7:31 am

[...] Randy Johnson can smash on the drums. Bernie Williams can play the guitar. Ron Artest fancies himself as a rapper and, well, you don’t have to say much about Shaq. [...]