And you thought the kids on the chess team were attention starved.

Turns out double dutch is going to be a recognized varsity sport in New York City.

Let’s go over some definitions first:

From Merriam-Webster: sport, noun
1 a: a source of diversion: Recreation. 1 b: sexual play. c (1) physical activity engaged in for pleasure (2) a particular activity (as an athletic game) so engaged in.

From Merriam-Webster: double Dutch, noun
1: unintelligible language
2: the jumping of two ropes rotating in opposite direction simultaneously

All right, so technically double dutch is a physical activity that some people do engage in for pleasure. But you know what? Some people also enjoy picking berries, climbing trees or rolling down a hill. Those are all physical activities that people may find pleasurable. Should we consider them sports?

Not saying that double dutch isn’t active. It’s very active. It’s basically jogging and break dancing in place, which isn’t so simple.

It’s just the fact that it’s double dutch. Jumping rope. What other playground games are going to make their way onto the map of “official sports?” Dodgeball? Tetherball? Foursquare?

No, those games would make more sense. After all, they do involve a ball. Double dutch doesn’t. It involves two strings of rope and some kids who enjoy jumping up and down and will have cashed their knees by the time they’re 26.

You’re trying too hard to get kids active, America. Let the non-active ones get fat. They may feel less embarrassed getting stuck in a door frame than jumping up and down, avoiding two ropes like they were snakes after their kankles.

Where do we draw the line?