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Entries from August 2008

Where 70-0 happens: Yeah, that’s a football score

August 31st, 2008 · 1 Comment

I woke up this morning by a buzzing cell phone located somewhere among 50 red cups. The text message, from my father, read “70-0? Is that for real?” It was for real, quite possibly one of the most lopsided scores in college football over the weekend.
And you thought a 64-minute rain delay in the fucking [...]

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Tags: College football · Phoenix

Happy Birthday to Marcus Vick’s boo

August 31st, 2008 · No Comments

Happy Birthday Delicia Cordon.
You know this girl is gonna party hard tonight. Not only is she the boo bear of Michael Vick Dick’s brother, Marcus, but she’s also been featured in six rap/r&b music videos and two big screen videos. She’s been in magazines and calendars. She’s hot shit, basically.
But a quick note to this black and [...]

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Tags: Would You Beat?

Fitz is the most unpopular kid at UGA right now

August 31st, 2008 · 6 Comments

Only Fitz would have this kind of luck.
Michael Fitzpatrick, the sports editor of The Red and Black — the student newspaper for the University of Georgia — voted Georgia No. 2 in the UWIRE preseason football poll and picked Ohio State No. 1 in the nation. This is a shocker for two reasons: one, he [...]

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Tags: College football · Dumbass · People of character

Introducing Chad Javon Ocho Cinco

August 31st, 2008 · 1 Comment

Chad Johnson is a very unique character, we know. But he’s also one of the most egotistical people on the face of the planet.
The Bengals wide receiver’s new official name is Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. Yes, he changed his last name to his jersey number.
This guy has raced a throughbred horse, he’s worn a jacket [...]

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Tags: NFL · People of character

Attention Republican sports lovers: Palin will give you a boner, inform you about Iditarod

August 31st, 2008 · 1 Comment

Yesterday we brought to your attention the fact that presidential hopeful John McCain named Sarah Palin as his running mate and that Palin was a former hoopster.
Thanks to the Internet, which can pull out even the most intimate secrets about someone in seconds, a video of Palin — then as Sarah Heath — has come [...]

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Tags: Not Quite Sure

Watch a live Handy on ESPN right now . . .

August 30th, 2008 · No Comments

Meet Patrick Handy.
Strengths: Forearms, smooth stroke
Weaknesses: Long term relationships, guys who only want blowjobs

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Tags: Better Know An Athlete · College football

John McCain throws dice by choosing ex-baller

August 30th, 2008 · 1 Comment

There’s so many firsts during this United States presidential campaign. You’ve got race, gender and about 143 percent less stupidity than was present for the 2000 and 2004 presidential campaigns.
Republican John McCain recently asked Alaska governor Sarah Palin, who has been a governor for less than two years, to be his running mate. There are [...]

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Tags: Not Quite Sure

College football can do us three ways to Sunday

August 29th, 2008 · No Comments

In honor of LSU’s efforts, we’re also going to move up our drinking time in response to a possible Hurricane Gustavo evacuation. So while the festivities will begin early in the Desert, here’s enough junk to survive the weekend (in case of, ya know, an evacuation).

When we think Democratic National Convention, we think condoms and [...]

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Tags: Roundup

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