The Madison Mallards had this brilliant idea of having Gary Coleman pinch hit for the team to lead off the game. The publicity stunt went south, though, when Coleman was playfully ejected from the game for having too much pine tar and corking his bat. It was uncomfortable and awkward and would have been 100 times better if Gary said at least once, “Whatchu talkin’ ’bout, Ump?”

An additional message to Coleman: Sammy Sosa and George Brett are not your friends.