Barry Bonds is a walking oxymoron.

The all-time MLB home run king graduated from Arizona State with a degree in criminology, and 22 years later, his legend is marked with an asterisk for being a criminal and illegally taking steroids, allegedly.

And even though he’s a season removed from playing in the Big Leagues and is an unofficial free agent — as well as a No. 1 seed and Final Four contestant in our “Who’s Not Now?” Tournament — Bonds said he still has a passion for the game and would love to get back into baseball. As a college baseball coach.

Several former MLB stars have gone on to coach college baseball, including Hall-of-Famer Tony Gwynn. But in Gwynn’s case, he was a legend who continued to be larger than life — literally and figuratively – in the town that he played in. The Giants will never likely have a statue for Bonds nor be named after a street or ball park.

And yet, Bonds still wants to go back to college — back to when he was a star player and student of criminology. Back to the land where smoking pot, skinny dipping and keg stands are the norm, no matter how illegal they may be.

See, in college, there are no rules. How is Bonds going to thrive in a setting where the laws are constantly broken when he can’t even play by the rules when they’re enforced?