(P.S.: Nice frosted tips)

After three-and-a-half weeks of intense bracketology and polling of our readers, we finally have a “Who’s Not Now?” winner. Let’s hope Clemens doesn’t misremember this defining point in his life.

Why Clemens is Not Now: Possibly the greatest pitcher of his era with a fair share of Cy Young Awards and Triple Crowns, Roger Clemens may have seen his last game. He’s a sure-fire hall-of-famer, but Clemens is in hot water right now. He was alleged by the Mitchell Report to have used anabolic steroids, though he’s denied it. Last April, the New York Daily News reported that Clemens had been, you know, doing country music star Mindy McCready. Then news broke that he’d been, you know, doing Paulette Dean Daly, pro golfer Jon Daly’s ex. Clemens also allegedly had an affair with a Manhattan bartender and a Detroit stripper. One thing is for sure, though. He’s not, you know, doing anything involving Major League Baseball.

Go inside for a full bracket to see how Clemens came out on top. (That’s what she said.)