Mark Spitz, meet Don Shula. You are now friends.
Across the finest bars/taverns/watering holes of America, there’s always a token High School Yearbook Club member that straight up:
- Gets hammered at 3 p.m. straight from work
- Babbles on about his 1973 state wrestling championship
- Has no friends, a shitty marriage, and lack of life
The celebrity equivalence? None other than 1972 Dolphins head coach Don Shula, the outspoken anti-Patriots advocate from last season in their run to join the Perfect Season Club.
But Shula has another special club of his very own — the High School Yearbook Club, devoted to those grumpy/douchebag/old athletes that publicly gain attention from recalling/complaining/bitching about their respective “glory days.”
Today we welcome our newest member of the High School Yearbook Club, Mark Spitz. He completed his initiation yesterday by sounding like a complete stuck-up prick in an article on Yahoo! Sports:
“I never got invited. You don’t go to the Olympics just to say, I am going to go. Especially because of who I am … I am going to sit there and watch Michael Phelps break my record anonymously? That’s almost demeaning to me. It is not almost—it is.”
“I won seven events. If they had the 50m freestyle back then, which they do now, I probably would have won that too.”
Keep touting your horn, Spitz, because that’s all you’re going to be touting at the age of 58.
Mark Spitz is a douche. That is why nobody cared if he came or not.
I always wonder if someone like this has made their remarks just to get attention. I wasn’t the greatest student but I always got my attention by getting my teachers to scold me about something I’d say. BUT THAT WAS WHEN I WAS IO YEARS OLD.
Get some therapy and get over it.