In honor of LSU’s efforts, we’re also going to move up our drinking time in response to a possible Hurricane Gustavo evacuation. So while the festivities will begin early in the Desert, here’s enough junk to survive the weekend (in case of, ya know, an evacuation).

• When we think Democratic National Convention, we think condoms and booze. (The Big Lead)
• Speaking of politics, Obama has his own jersey. (Mr. Irrelevant)
• Girls love Jacoby a little too much. (Red Sox Monsta)
• How not to raise your daughter.
• An even worse example of how not to raise your daughter.

Speaking of teenage girls: Thanks to all of those comments from Shikari Bonds’ friends supporting her. You go girl! We hear Everclear works even better!

• We’ll get some excellent Would You Beat posts lined up throughout the weekend. Love you.