Only Fitz would have this kind of luck.

Michael Fitzpatrick, the sports editor of The Red and Black — the student newspaper for the University of Georgia — voted Georgia No. 2 in the UWIRE preseason football poll and picked Ohio State No. 1 in the nation. This is a shocker for two reasons: one, he attends Georgia and two, he was virtually the only person in the Milky Way to place Georgia in any spot besides the No. 1 spot. OK, he wasn’t completely alone, but you get the point.

Now, we know Fitz very well. A little too well, actually. We love to give him a hard time and tease him about the fact that he’s attended seven different schools in as many years and that his hair looks like an animal sitting on his head at times. And now we’ve got a buddy (Adam from UWIRE) to help treat Fitz like a human punching bag.

UWIRE — the college version of the Associated Press — has jumped on the Fitz bandwagon to question why he does what he does. Listen closely to the conversation. The UWIRE host takes a few jabs at Fitz, implying that he won’t have any sexual relations with any females during his tenure at UGA, which will last two semesters so that he can keep alive his trend of being an educational whore/transient.

• Only Fitz would be put on the national spotlight like this for being a traitor/goofball.
• Only Fitz would would be shown inside of the Arizona State men’s basketball media guide as a Sun Devils fan the year that he transferred to Arizona.
• Only Fitz would be shown giving the peace sign on ASU’s freshman welcome Web page the same year he switched from the Devils to the Wildcats.
• Only Fitz would be questioned by a UGA gymnast as to why he’s wearing a University of Arizona Gymcats shirt.
• Only Fitz would yell SCOOOOOOORE for five seconds.
• Only Fitz would play an air-trumpet during James Brown’s “I Feel Good” at a hockey game.
• Only Fitz would fall on his roller blades in front of a cop on the way to get a burger. (He should watch this video next time he decides he wants to get the blades going.)
• Only Fitz would drive a car in which nothing on the dash works.
• Only Fitz would be worth making this much fun of.