E-MAIL: Hey Sports Culture, do you think Jay Leno is real or fake scissor gang mafia? He seems to me like he’s old n wise enough to be but we know how he likes to joke around. Mike Phelps, though, that’s the tough question.

- Jake, Chicago

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Thanks for the tip Jake. We’re thinking that Jay’s not part of the SGM at all. He’s in Hollywood; it’s all part of the act. 

The Man-God-Fish, on the other hand, he’s the one to watch out for. We’ve seen his scissor kick under water. His scissor skills may be much more lethal out in the open.

On another note: He wore that to The Tonight Show? We’re not the fashion police but you’ve go a) know you’re going to be seen by millions and millions of people and b) know where the lights are.

Seriously. This is an ensemble you wear to a ninth-grade study session when it’s sprinkling outside. You just won millions of bucks. If you’re not going to fix your teeth, at least buy yourself a suit.