You would think the Seattle Mariners would do everything in their power to keep the world from laughing at them during the 2009 season. But it’s October and they’re already not helping themselves out very much.

The Mariners are in search for a new general manager. The candidates so far?

• Peter Woodfork, Arizona Diamondbacks assistant general manager
• Jerry DiPoto, Arizona Diamondbacks director of player personnel
• Tony Bernazard, New York Mets vice president of player development
• Kim Ng, Los Angeles Dodgers assistant general manager
• Tony LaCava, Toronto Blue Jays assistant general manager

Maybe the Mariners should call up Bart Simpson for some candidates. He’ll be able to recommend Al Coholic, I.P. Freely, Homer Sexual, Hugh Jass and even a female, Maya Normousbutt.