Ticket prices for Super Bowl XLIII in Tampa will be the most expensive in history. Ticket prices will reach $1,000 for the first time ever, meaning buying them from a scalper will cost you an arm, a leg and maybe your anal virginity.

Yes, it is the Super Bowl, but really, when you’re paying $250 per hour, you should be able to eat from a buffet, meet some players, have some alone time with a cheerleader and kick Michael Vick in the balls.

On second thought, there is price too high for the latter.