To the surprise of GM Theo Epstein, former Boston Red Sox outfielder Coco Crisp has embraced a trade to Kansas City. (Boston Globe file photo)

BOSTON, Mass. (TSC) — A surprisingly upbeat Coco Crisp walked out of Red Sox GM Theo Epstein’s office Wednesday morning with news that the outfielder had been traded to the Kansas City Royals — taking Epstein by a pleasant surprise.

After all, Epstein spent hours developing a plan to elaborately break the trade news to Crisp in a formal meeting — preparing for the worst possible explicit explosion.

“I was kinda shocked that he embraced this move,” Epstein said on WEEI, a Boston sports radio station. “Who the fuck wants to live, work, or breathe in Kansas City? And on top of that, play for a complete shit-hole franchise like the Royals? I’m not complaining, as long as he’s happy.

“We were ready to give him the ‘Oh It’s Just Business’ talk like in years past with much of our traded talent,” Epstein added. “Guess we can save that for JD Drew or someone else.”

In a bizarre move Wednesday morning, the Red Sox traded Crisp for a player with the last name Ramirez — breaking Epstein’s blacklist of last names never to be stitched on a Boston uniform again.

Epstein anticipated backlast from Crisp, in terms of making the transition from a baseball-frenzy city like Boston to tornado-filled country life like Kansas City.

Crisp, who spent two seasons (2006-08) with the organization, anticipates a smooth transition for the corporate-like management in Boston to, in his words, “small-town Mom-and-Pop shop business” in Kansas City.

When informed that, despite obvious assumptions, even Kansas City operates like a normal Major League Baseball club, Crisp explained in-depth his passion for enterpreneurship growing up. It’s something that has always fascinated Crisp, he said. But due to professional baseball obligations, Crisp never created the opportunity to start up his own small business.

Now, as Crisp sees it, he’s part of one in an up-and-coming section of America.

“I’m pretty excited for this new journey,” Crisp said at Logan International Airport. “Back in Inglewood, I always wanted to open up my own laundrymat. So I’m a big believer in small business, and I think Kansas City certainly exemplifies those principals — just in a baseball standpoint.”

Crisp hopes Google updates its search engine

Now his career in Boston put to rest, Crisp told reporters that he hopes Google fix a flaw in its image searching technique.

“My aunt wanted new wallpaper on her computer, so she plugged ‘Coco Crisp’ into the Google machine and it said I was related to Manny Ramirez,” said an irate Crisp. “There’s no way in hell that I’m related to that prick.”