Happy New Years!

Enter the new year with deep discounts at The Sports Culture’s shop! Save 20.09% off purchases of $20 or more at the shop.

Coupon code: NEW19

Unlike most news outlets and Web sites, we’ve saved our obligatory 2008 year in review for the last day of 2008. Here’s our Top 10 stories of the year that was:

1. Shaq calls himself the “Black Michael Phelps”
2. David Hasselhoff, now no longer an Arizona football virgin
3. Somebody asked Pete Carroll who has the largest penis in the Pac-10
4. Maurice Evans got married, bridesmaids were totally freaks in the sheets
5. Some Facebook tool dropped the N-bomb on O.J. Mayo’s profile page
6. The Fat Coaches Association enshrined its newest member
7. We discovered that the BCS nerds have some Boomer Sooner bias
8. Robin Lopez became one very, very interesting guy
9. We made our own list of party schools, much to the dissatisfaction of our loyal readers
10. Barry Bonds’ (very young) daughter loves her vodka

Not that we want to picture any other dude naked, but read the following from Dallas Morning News, and add in your own underlined parts, remembering that Tony Romo was NAKED at the time. Let’s play a quick game of MadLibs.

Tony Romo’s three turnovers were momentarily meaningless Sunday night when players started yelling in the shower after the quarterback collapsed from a body part injury.

Athletic trainer Jim Maurer and his staff rushed into the shower as the locker room came to a near standstill. A stretcher was wheeled in, but Romo was eventually helped to his body part and taken into the vegetable room.

As someone who was standing there watching this whole scene unfold, I can tell you the players were emotion. They didn’t know what to do. Deon Anderson went out running for emergency help, but Maurer and associate athletic trainer Britt Brown were all over it.

Adam Jones, of all people, was standing there exercise, verb me, another reporter and a TV camera man to get back. Let me tell you, verb into the shower was the last place we needed to be at that moment. Jerry Jones’ personal security chief, Roosevelt Riley, came out to push everybody back and an equipment staff member grabbed all of Romo’s body part you have two of and headed to the training room.

When asked later what happened, Romo said, “Um, you know, I was just a little verb up, I guess.”

It doesn’t quite have the same ring as 2girls1cup, but both concepts are still extremely bizarre.

In last night’s Portland v. Boston NBA social gathering, the Trail Blazers:

• Played a possession with six players.
• Scored two points in doing so.
• Got away with it

Fucking serious? Although the Trail Blazers ended up winning 91-86, the final two minutes came down to a back-and-forth lead change of a mere one and two points. For example, with under one minute to play, the Celtics trailed 87-86. Quick math: 86 minus 87 equals -1. Add on the two points they got royally fucked with, and Boston should’ve been up 86-85 and in the position to draw fouls.

Remember the time this guy was called Eric Mangenius?

Well, here’s what three years can do to you:

Yup, mangina.