Oohh hats!

Let’s play a game. It’s called, “How did Alabama junior offensive tackle Andre Smith get suspended from playing in the Sugar Bowl?”

Yeah, yeah, ESPN.com has “top secret sources” that said Smith’s suspension is related to “improper dealings with an agent.” It makes sense, seeing as that the beast is a sure-lock top-five NFL draft pick.

But common, an offensive lineman chillin’ in New Orleans since Saturday? This is a guy with the nickname “Mr. Football” in Alabama, the everything-but-professional football capital of the world. Smith is one of the SEC’s best left tackles in years.

‘Bama coach Nick Saban went as far as saying (loose translation): Hey, you were pretty badass here, but get the fuck out.

“Andre Smith has done an outstanding job in our program as a person, student and a player and we will do all we can as an institution to support him in all future endeavors,” Saban said.

That’s gotta be one big fuckup on Bourbon Street. Maybe he:

1. Mistakenly won the $500 cash prize for girl with the most beads
2. Broke the club’s dress code by wearing a hoodie and hat
3. Actually made it into the club, then accidentally shot himself in the leg with an unlicensed gun