1. The Boston Celtics didn’t want to re-sign him.

2. He is not pleased with his 2-Pac impersonation (No “Thug Life” tattoo).

3. Wondering why some dude is grabbing his shoulder and singing. Gay?

4. He is wondering where his basketball career went.

5. His lips are chapped from repeatedly licking them.

6. His chain(s) is fake.

7. The TVs in the background aren’t flat screens.

It’s about time Michael Jordan is slapped on the label of Gatorade. After all, he is pretty ‘G.’ Come August, Gatorade will release six labels and three flavors inspired by the Chicago Bulls: Championship Blue, Championship Gold and Championship Red.

It took Jordan being voted into the Hall of Fame (a no-brainer) before His Airness received a Gatorade label.

Don’t get us wrong, not many people get G labels. It’s not a Wheaties Box, after all. But we were anxiously anticipating the next G label face after Tiger got his own brand.

Who will be the next face of the G label?

Hat tip to our boys at Nerdy McFly.

• A remix on Albert the Great’s Cardinals jersey (Joe Sports Fan)
• Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush split up (People Magazine)
• Romo bans Simpson (Daily Stab)
• WNBA inspires Obama daughters (Sports Illustrated)
• Phelps beaten by world-record time (ESPN)

Did you know David Letterman played Mexican ball? That’s a little more exciting than Mr. No-Hitter Mark Buehrle’s reading ability.

OK, they’re not midgets, but two guys significantly smaller than Shaq helped the NBA star take down The Big Show during a WWE Monday Night Raw guest appearance. With Shaq’s newest made-for-reality TV quest to take on any big-name sports/entertainment talents who will face him, The Big Diesel is a walking version of the song, “Anything you can do I can do better.”

Well, except for walking up to the White House and trying to get automatic admittance. He can’t do that so well.

Don’t even get us started about Michael Vick. We wish we could release The Beast from The Sandlot on Vick for what he did to so many poor innocent dogs.

But Europe’s GQ branch doesn’t see that. They didn’t receive the media blast Americans did around the time when Vick’s Virgina house was raided and all the evidence was found. Quite frankly, GQ UK doesn’t even know who Michael Vick is.

On the Day Vick was cleared to participate in the NFL’s preseason, GQ UK wrote, “Apparently, Mr Vick’s conviction reflects unfavourably on the league as a whole.” Uhh, you think?

The article goes on to cite a decade-old study that states that about 20 percent of NFL players commit crimes, and it even drew a comparison to the recently slain Steve McNair. Apparently dogs aren’t of the same commodity in Europe as they are in America. Apparently, in Europe, dogs are not man’s best friend, ignorance is.