What a great question! From Bob Young of the Arizona Republic:

IronMike: “I thwear, I’m gonna thew Evanduh up and thpit him out!”

The_Big_Bambino: “Boston just sold me to the &%$# New York Yankees. Curse those Red Sox!”

MJ23: “Can you believe it? That little twerp Isiah just froze me out at the All-Star Game?!!? Everybody’s gonna pay six times over!”

Mr_Coffee: “Only went 1-4 against Eddie Smith of the White Sox today. Funny, though. I’m seeing the ball real good.”

Cheryl_Miller_4_Real: “Mopped up the driveway with my scrawny lil bro. Again!”

Yogi_Being_Yogi: “It’s 1 o’clock and time for my two-hour nap. I’ll tweet when I wake up at 4.”

Juice_On_The_Loose: “I was just out in the yard hitting three wood shots out of a sand box. No, really.”

Bonus_Honus_Wagner: “Twitterers, I have released a new cigarette-pack trading card. Better get ‘em while you can.”

The_Real_George_Foreman: “Chillin’ in Zaire. And I swear, if I get that loud-mouthed Ali on the ropes tonight, I’ll beat him into tomorrow.”

Bob Beamon: “I feel so good I might just go past 28 feet today.”

Hammerin_Hank: “Took Al Downing deep for No. 715 tonight. Whew! Glad that’s over. When I’m done, it will take a chemical mutant to catch me.”

Real_Fast_Carl_Lewis: “So excited! Singing the national anthem before Bulls-Nets game tonight. Uh oh!”

Real_Fast_Carl Lewis: “Been 10 years and I’m finally over that national anthem mess. Celebrating by throwing out first pitch tonight at Mariners game. Promise to post video!”

Original_Jim_Brown: “You know what? I’m done.”

Call_Me_Rickey(I do): Rickey is in New York. Rickey loves New York. Rickey just looked out his window and saw the Entire State Building.”

WiltTheStilt: “Set a record with 100 in Hershey PA tonight! Had a big game, too.