President Barack Obama, who is in Hawaii on a family vacation, had to quickly abruptly leave a game of golf with some friends from Chicago when he found out a friend’s child was injured while playing on the beach.
According to the Associated Press, Journalists saw an ambulance speed past the secured neighborhood where Obama was staying. The ambulance then left the neighborhood with a black sedan trailing.
But no worries, “After a brief delay, Obama returned to the course.”
If only Obama was as persistent about saving the country’s economy as he is about finishing a round of golf . . .
Nike has released a new video with the LeBron James and Kobe Bryant puppets just in time for Christmas. In this video, we learn three very important things that make it easier to live life, now that we know:
1. Reindeer play basketball
2. Reindeer, much like white men, can’t jump.
3. Santa Claus is black.
OJ Simpson must be really bored in prison. The food is probably bland, the walls are bare and damn it, ‘Who Dropped the Soap?’ isn’t as challenging as winning the Heisman was.
Or getting away with murder.
To brighten up his days in the slammer, Juice has reverted to working on a play and a TV sitcom inspired by prison life, according to the Chicago Sun Times. OJ, however, wouldn’t be able to take credit for his absurd piece of work.
Don’t look for O.J. to be selling his ideas to Broadway or a network. ”He can’t officially be the author of any of this, or else whatever money he’d make could be grabbed by the Brown family,” said my source, referring to relatives of Simpson’s murdered ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson. ”If anything comes of this, look for O.J.’s daughter Sydney Simpson to be the official author.”
But wait, aren’t sitcoms supposed to be funny? Yeah, we know. They’re not all funny. We’ve seen “Roseanne.”
How the hell can you make OJ’s life in prison funny through a TV show? This has got to be good.
Alex Rodriguez has a brand new World Series ring from his recent win with the Yankees, but the third baseman won’t have a wedding ring for Kate Hudson.
A-Rod and Hudson have broken up, according to US Magazine.
Sources say the couple broke it off peacefully, without the use of golf clubs or the necessity of running into a fire hydrant and a tree.
TSC Note: This is the fifth straight blog post in which we used a Tiger Woods joke. We’re aiming for a Guinness World Record.
“They say Tiger made a mistake or 10,
But is he really that different from other men,
Who would gladly trade him just to see,
What it’s like to have an opportunity,
To lay any woman in the land,
And to never have to use your hand,
The only mistake that Tiger made,
Was the mistake of getting married,
If he hadn’t, then it would be OK,
And he wouldn’t be getting buried,
He could be like Wilt out on the tour,
And he’d never be called a cheater,
The public all would think he’s pure,
He could be like Derek Jeter“
Took a Breathalyzer test. He passed.