OJ Simpson must be really bored in prison. The food is probably bland, the walls are bare and damn it, ‘Who Dropped the Soap?’ isn’t as challenging as winning the Heisman was.

Or getting away with murder.

To brighten up his days in the slammer, Juice has reverted to working on a play and a TV sitcom inspired by prison life, according to the Chicago Sun Times. OJ, however, wouldn’t be able to take credit for his absurd piece of work.

Don’t look for O.J. to be selling his ideas to Broadway or a network. ”He can’t officially be the author of any of this, or else whatever money he’d make could be grabbed by the Brown family,” said my source, referring to relatives of Simpson’s murdered ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson. ”If anything comes of this, look for O.J.’s daughter Sydney Simpson to be the official author.”

But wait, aren’t sitcoms supposed to be funny? Yeah, we know. They’re not all funny. We’ve seen “Roseanne.”

How the hell can you make OJ’s life in prison funny through a TV show? This has got to be good.

The Honorable Judge Lance Ito, who was made famous while he presided over OJ Simpson’s murder trial in the 1990s, keeps losing his name. No, it’s not like he can’t remember his name; it’s just that thieves keep running off with it.

From the LA Times:

Each courtroom is adorned with a name placard outside the door with the name of its presiding judge. But on the ninth floor, Ito’s placard holder stays woefully empty.

Since the bearded judge became a household name more than a decade ago while presiding over the O.J. Simpson murder trial, his placard has been stolen time and again. He’s tried replacing it, he’s tried gluing it, but the darn thing just keeps disappearing.

A few years ago, Ito finally gave up. Those looking for his courtroom now depend on the information officer in the lobby to guide them there.

Rumor has it Judge Ito may change his name to Lance Ochocinco.

You’re closing in on being 100 years young. What’s your greatest fantasy?

To go the whole day without crapping yourself? To win today’s BINGO contest? To remember your name?

Nah, these Beaumont Rehabilitation and Skilled Nursing Center residents have bigger fantasies: Fantasy football that is.

The Beaumont Rehabilitation and Skilled Nursing Center started fantasy football – a game that has mostly been the all-male domain of twentysomething office pools and barroom bettors – early this fall, in hopes it would liven up ho-hum Sunday afternoons for its elderly residents.

Now, halfway through the season, the league is more successful than Beaumont’s recreation assistant Lindsay Benedetto ever thought possible.

In just two months, attendance at televised Sunday afternoon games in the third-floor common room has doubled, and about a dozen seniors between the ages of 77 and 93 earn points weekly depending on the performance of their NFL teams.

We can’t wait to see these folks go nuts for March Madness pools.

Wanna know everything you already don’t know about Bengals’ receiver Chad Ochocino? If you have an iPhone or an iPod Touch, now you can, for just $4.99.

Per ESPN:

For $4.99, Ochocinco fans can follow his daily exploits in photos, videos and tweets. They can ask his advice on dating or anything else, send their own photos for posting, and track where he is each day when he’s on the road.

All Ochocinco, all the time.

“If you can’t fly here to chill with me you can with this app,” Ochocinco informed fans through a post on his Twitter account.

There’s no word yet if the app will be in English or in numerically-incorrect Spanish.

A recent study done by HCD research did a survey of Americans’ most favorite celebrities in 2009, and unfortunately for Eagles’ quarterback Michael Vick, he is less likable than the father of Michael Jackson, Joe. While Vick is on his way to earning his respect back for some of his dog-killing ways, he still has some work to do to become someone that is embraced by the American public. For now, he goes into the same category is MJ’s abusive father.

E-mail: State Farm is promoting LeBron’s More Than a Game documentary, and they are releasing rare and never-before-seen footage from LeBron’s high school days over the next few weeks. … Anyways, the newest one that just went up is actually a recent video in which he  proclaims:  “If I wanted to, I could quit basketball and play in the NFL.” Unlike (Braylon) Edwards, LeBron actually catches the ball in the video. — Aaron

Thanks for the heads up, Aaron. Maybe the Cleveland Browns can use LeBron at tight end every now and then. Lord knows they could use the help of anyone at this point.

Click the photo to see the video.

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