OJ Simpson must be really bored in prison. The food is probably bland, the walls are bare and damn it, ‘Who Dropped the Soap?’ isn’t as challenging as winning the Heisman was.

Or getting away with murder.

To brighten up his days in the slammer, Juice has reverted to working on a play and a TV sitcom inspired by prison life, according to the Chicago Sun Times. OJ, however, wouldn’t be able to take credit for his absurd piece of work.

Don’t look for O.J. to be selling his ideas to Broadway or a network. ”He can’t officially be the author of any of this, or else whatever money he’d make could be grabbed by the Brown family,” said my source, referring to relatives of Simpson’s murdered ex-wife, Nicole Brown Simpson. ”If anything comes of this, look for O.J.’s daughter Sydney Simpson to be the official author.”

But wait, aren’t sitcoms supposed to be funny? Yeah, we know. They’re not all funny. We’ve seen “Roseanne.”

How the hell can you make OJ’s life in prison funny through a TV show? This has got to be good.

Seattle Seahawks’ fullback Owen Schmitt thinks he is a bad ass, and he decided to show everyone just how tough he is by smashing his own helmet into his skull. Well, after the blood rushed down his face in front of a packed stadium, he looked more like a retard. Given all the studies that have been going done regarding the NFL’s effect on health in players’ later years, if he keeps this up he may literally be a retard. Wait, too late.

Filthy peeping perv Michael David Barrett may have filmed more women other than ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews, according to the New York Daily News.

It is said that Barrett filmed other women through peepholes, just as he did with Andrews. He is currently confined to his home, wearing an electronic monitoring device.

The judge has also told him to stay off of the Internet, where he should have gone for porn in the first place. Use your imagination a little bit, Barrett!

Penn State tight end Andrew Quarless, of course!

Here at TSC, we are all for having team spirit, but some people in Bean Town take it too far. This picture to the left is the perfect example of that. Looks like Mr. Boston had too many “Boston Lagaaas” before hitting up his local tattoo shop.

Shane Victorino was pretty lucky on Wednesday night because he got to hit the showers in the middle of the game in perhaps the most desirable liquid known to man — BEER! So today, Victorino should go down as a pioneer because he oficially proved the Chicago Cubs fans are 100 percent the biggest douchebags in sports. It’s not like that wasn’t known, but much like the greatest minds in the history of this country, he got to prove it. Don’t worry Cubs fans, you can still play the victim for another 100 years, but today you won something even more valueable than that ever-elusive World Series! You are the biggest douchebag fans in sports No need to fret, the entire WORLD will still feel bad for your miserable team! Hope the shower tasted good Shane, but tonight you will be remembered as the victor… Oh, in case you were wondering, the Cubs lost 12-5, which was a surprise.