It’s in the rumor stages right now, but that’s what we work with the best. Word on the street is that Alex Rodriguez recently bought a Rolls Royce for Madonna.
Not that it’s uncommon to shower your new boo bear in gifts to show your affection, but with a Rolls Fucking Royce?
May as well rip the [...]

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Great. As I’m blasting the “Iris” solo chorus on iTunes, this tool below has to go ahead and ruin life, since ESPN.com forgot to place a stop button on my fucking computer.

Don’t fuck with the Goo Goo Dolls

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Everybody recalls junior and senior years of high school — it’s when all those “First Time ‘B’ Moments” struck: First beer, first blackout, and first blowjob. But somewhere lost in those inaugural experiences came your inability to look halfway presentable on the one hour that really mattered: the dreaded yearbook pose.
And very much like us [...]

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If you were to start a band with four professional athletes, who would you pick?
Randy Johnson can smash on the drums. Bernie Williams can play the guitar. Ron Artest fancies himself as a rapper and, well, you don’t have to say much about Shaq.
But Guitar Hero had a few other rock stars in mind: Kobe [...]

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It’s one thing to be a fan, but it’s another to be such a big fan that you sacrifice your warmth for an absurd level of dorkness. That’s what will happen once you sport one of these earmuff lids.
Instead of looking like a spirited fan, you’ll look like the Mutts Cutts van from Dumb and Dumber.
So [...]

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Hugged Phillies’ catcher Carlos Ruiz after winning Game 5 of the World Series in Philadelphia to win the 2008 title.
Became frustrated that Ruiz is cockblocking him with his cup.
Realized that unhooking a catchers’ chest protector is a lot more difficult that unhooking a bra.
Got a wedgie.
Farted.
Became thankful he’s still wearing his Rawlings — no glove, [...]

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The historic, rich tradition of Rays Nation will have to wait, ugh, another year for that title.
Patients, guys, patients. Championship teams don’t just pop up overnight. Or over the course of a few months. Now go think of some more crafty signs for next season. And fuck the cowbells.

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Held up a book of baseball’s rules as he announced Game 5 of the baseball World Series between the Philadelphia Phillies and Tampa Bay Rays would be suspended.
Farted and is wafting it in to determine what the hell he ate last night.
Ate a WarHead.
Looked at the notes on his hand to remember what he was [...]

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