Thank goodness for his sake that he did in fact win eight medals. Otherwise, he’d probably be eating Burger King for Thanksgiving, and he’d be thankful for the noose he had.

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If you were to start a band with four professional athletes, who would you pick?
Randy Johnson can smash on the drums. Bernie Williams can play the guitar. Ron Artest fancies himself as a rapper and, well, you don’t have to say much about Shaq.
But Guitar Hero had a few other rock stars in mind: Kobe [...]

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Puma’s latest marketing scheme involves a whole lot of booty— err, rather —”Batty” shaking. It’s almost way too intentional to put together “lasting 9.69 seconds” + “sexy booty shaking” with a joke about a 15-year-old’s first experience in bed. Not to mention the whole 69 part. Usian Bolt: You are not a man! Do not [...]

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OK, so it wasn’t Michael Phelps or Usain Bolt but Mary Wineberg is an Olympic gold medalist, too.
The only difference between her and Phelps or Bolt — outside of the obvious gender separation — is that she’s willing to compete against His Egotistical Magisty, Chad Javon Johnson Ochocinco.
We’re thinking he should accept this challenge. After [...]

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For those of you who felt a little less manly when watching the women’s swimming events at the Olympics — it’s okay, most of them could probably kill you in an arm wrestling match.
Then there’s Stephanie Rice. She’s the Alicia Sacramone of the pool.
Rice, an Audtrailian, received her first-ever Olympic medal in Beijing, placing first [...]

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E-MAIL: Hey Sports Culture, do you think Jay Leno is real or fake scissor gang mafia? He seems to me like he’s old n wise enough to be but we know how he likes to joke around. Mike Phelps, though, that’s the tough question.
- Jake, Chicago
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Thanks for the tip Jake. We’re thinking that Jay’s not part [...]

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Stick to swimming and quit scaring the children, Phelpsey imposter.

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