No, the Arizona Cardinals didn’t lose to the Pittsburgh Steelers in the Super Bowl this past Sunday. Turns out, it was the NY Cardinals who lost in the final moment.

Isn’t Paris Hilton supposed to know a little something about fashion?

No, we’re not even going to attempt to turn down or defend her leather pants or boots. In reality, we just don’t give a shit.

But a Yankees cap with a Cards jersey on Super Bowl Sunday, when you’re in Tampa, Fla.?

Will someone please get this chick a mirror?

Were you in Tucson on Sunday? Were you watching the Super Bowl on Comcast’s cable service?

Did you see a man wang right after Larry Fitzgerald scored a touchdown?

If so, you’re entitled to a $10 bonus. Not only that, but only those who were watching the game on regular cable — not high definition — saw the 30-second porn clip.

But, wait. Where the fuck is our reimbursement for Janet Jackson’s nip-slip?

NBC thinks PETA is using asparigis to represent a penis in this photo. I hope your penis does not look like an asparigis.

Drama.

That’s all anybody associates PETA with. That jokeshow, outspoken, over-the-top organization loves to push buttons and infuriate the common human.

We get it, you guys are all for animal rights. But if I want to enjoy a juicy pork tenderloin, then let that be my decision: The fuck with all your angry and aggressive propaganda.

For years, PETA has consistently taken shots at people who wear fur and companies that use animals. A little ironic that this organization wants to use women to sell their own beliefs?

NBC recently denied PETA’s Super Bowl commercial, which features borderline softcore porn. Observe:

Here’s the e-mail PETA received from NBC:

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Welcome to the sexiest reality search for our nation’s hottest university.

Red Cup Media’s brand-new addition, Hottest College in America.com, is out to search for the hottest university in the nation.

Only you have the power to represent and submit real, candid photos of the hottest girls from your school. It’s entirely user-based, giving you the power to rate America’s sexiest co-eds.

Here are the current Top 10 ladies so far:

• University of Arizona (9.5 / 10)
• University of Arizona (9.33 / 10)
• Florida State (9.33 / 10)
• USC (9.31 / 10)
• UCLA (9.1 / 10)
• University of Oregon (8.83 / 10)
• University of Georgia (8.71 / 10)
• University of Arizona (8.38 / 10)
• Arizona State (8 / 10)
• University of Florida (8 / 10)

New England is thankful for:

• Its new MVP, Dustin Pedroia
• Manny being Manny somewhere else
• The fact that at least Tom Brady has a really hot girlfriend, Gisele Bundchen

Atlanta is thankful for:

• The fact that they don’t have to put up with Michael Vick’s bullshit anymore
• Matt Ryan’s love of dogs
• Brian McCann not being a fat tub of goo anymore

New York is thankful for:

• The rebirth of Brett the Jet
• David Tyree’s spirit fingers
• Having enough money to build a new stadium across the street for no reason at all

Philly is thankful for:

• Quarterbacks that now know what overtime is
• Will Smith, Boyz II men and cheese stakes
• World Series victories over jokeshow baseball teams that come out of nowhere

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This video of The BeachBums singing “Better Than This” has been selected by the Tampa Bay Rays to be shown on the jumbotron to hype up the fans during the 2009 home games at Tropicana Field.

You’ve got be fucking joking.