Welcome to another installment of TSC’s Who’s Not Now. We’ve created the bracket of 16 athletes and figures of the sporting world who took the wrong paths in life and now must face humiliation on this blog. We’re breaking them down. You decide Who’s Not Now.
Why Isiah is Not Now? No general manager can take credit for destroying a franchise more than Isiah Thomas did to the New York Knicks. When de facto NBA blogger Bill Simmons writes an entire column that previews your sexual harassment lawsuit, it’s never a good thing. Thomas made “demeaning statements . . . as well as sexual advances” in the lawsuit that Madison Square Garden was forced to pay a record-breaking $11.6 million in 2007. During the trial, the accuser said Thomas told her, “he did not care about these “[expletive] white people” or these “[expletive] season ticket holders,” prompting the racist card to be thrown around more than his first round draft blunders. Fans protested for Isiah’s firing, and after the Knicks tied a franchise record of 59 losses, Isiah was relieved of his duties as President of Basketball Operations.
Why Tyson is Not Now? Granted, Tyson has enough classic YouTube clips to rename the site TysonTube, but “Iron Mike” is better known for his controversy, bizzarreness, and thirst for human flesh. He was convicted of raping “Miss Black Rhode Island” in 1991, served six years in jail, then began the epic Tyson v Holyfield battle. In the second match between the two, the fight was stopped with Tyson biting Holyfield’s both ears, ending in disqualification. After that, Tyson told Lennox Lewis after a fight that “I want your heart, I want to eat your children.”
TSC’s Pick: Isiah Thomas.
But we don’t make the choices. YOU must vote on the right-hand column for who you think is “Not Now.”
We’ve seen our fair share of old men with sexy young gals, but at least a relationship like that can point to money.
We’ve even seen the occasional WNBA-sized monster woman holding hands with a jockey-looking male figure. Again, when in doubt, think money.
In this instance of chess and boxing, though, there’s really no x-factor that could wed those polar opposites together.
BERLIN – Nikolay Sazhin almost knocked out his opponent with a blow to the chin in the second round. But he had to take the queen to win the match.
In front of 1,000 cheering fans one recent Saturday night, Sazhin moved his bishop to go in for the kill and won the world championship of chess boxing, a weird hybrid sport that combines as many as five rounds of pugilism with a game of chess.
In terms of competition, I guess this hybrid would cross together the two vend diagrams of brains and fighting. Hell, I’d watch this on ESPN over Poker, Strongest Man, ESPN First Take, or any program Skip Bayless is involved in.
In a celebrity boxing match this weekend, former MLB player Jose Canseco got knocked down twice by former NFL running back Via Sikahema. Check that, he got kocked the fuck out!
In just a minute and 37 seconds into the match he was done. Stick a fork in him.
steroids suck, Canseco. You should find the dude who put the needle in your butt and beat attempt to beat his ass. You know, after you recover and all.
In the middle of town in some city in Asia, there lies a Chuck E. Cheese-like establishment with a boxing ring in the middle of it.
And in that boxing ring are two itty bitty men full of hatred because their penises are an inch-and-a-half long. Each. They’re too short to assemble Jordan Nikes for crumbs a day, so they make their money by boxing each other in front of pizza-eating fun lovers – a feat that would even make Wee Man proud.
This should be illegal, along with cockfighting and dogfighting. But it sure is hilarious.
Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson’s baby mama, Shaniqua Tompkins — nope, we didn’t make that name up – filed a temporary restraining order against the rapper yesterday because his homies have allegedly threatened her. She also claims he burned down his own $2.4 million mansion three weeks ago in an attempt to kill her and her own son.
At the time of the incident, 50 was in Louisiana filming a movie, but even if he was in town, how could you point the finger at him for the fire? Coming after your ex-booty with a Molotov Cocktail is one thing. Coming after your kid and and destroying your own mansion is rediculous. It didn’t happen. This dude’s from the street and he may rap about killing and being hard, but he’s certainly not dumb.
Because of the accusations that 50 burned his own crib down, Shaniqua was sued for $20 million for defamation. Harsh.
50 will still get to see his 11-year-old son, Marquise Diamond Jackson, after the restraining order but he’ll have to forfeit any guns or firearms and any pickup and drop off of Marquise, aka 25 Cent, must be at curbside.
Through this whole restraining order/sueing mess, the father and son will still have time together — for now — but this means that 50 has less time to teach 25 the finer things in life. Like how to shoot the roundball and not settling for Kobe’s 81 points without a ring:
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Why Isiah is Not Now? No general manager can take credit for destroying a franchise more than Isiah Thomas did to the New York Knicks. When de facto NBA blogger Bill Simmons writes an entire column that previews your sexual harassment lawsuit, it’s never a good thing. Thomas made “demeaning statements . . . as well as sexual advances” in the lawsuit that Madison Square Garden was forced to pay a record-breaking $11.6 million in 2007. During the trial, the accuser said Thomas told her, “he did not care about these “[expletive] white people” or these “[expletive] season ticket holders,” prompting the racist card to be thrown around more than his first round draft blunders. Fans protested for Isiah’s firing, and after the Knicks tied a franchise record of 59 losses, Isiah was relieved of his duties as President of Basketball Operations.
Why Tyson is Not Now? Granted, Tyson has enough classic YouTube clips to rename the site TysonTube, but “Iron Mike” is better known for his controversy, bizzarreness, and thirst for human flesh. He was convicted of raping “Miss Black Rhode Island” in 1991, served six years in jail, then began the epic Tyson v Holyfield battle. In the second match between the two, the fight was stopped with Tyson biting Holyfield’s both ears, ending in disqualification. After that, Tyson told Lennox Lewis after a fight that “I want your heart, I want to eat your children.”
