Today really doesn’t matter in the world of Brandon Jennings. Once the best high school player in the nation, according to ESPN and Scout.com, Jennings was going to play at the University of Arizona, so long as he passed his SAT exam.
The results for his third exam are due to come out today. But it doesn’t matter. Jennings has already decided that he’s going to play ball in Europe for a year, somewhere near this dude’s ass crack.
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Dear Brandon,
Good luck making the transition. I once played a sport that my homeland loved, but chose to move across the pond for some extra dough. Fact is, they still don’t really care about my sport. Or about me. I probably wouldn’t advise this move, but oh well!
Sincerely,
David Beckham.
Call him a trendsetter; call him an idiot; even call him a word in a funny language we don’t understand. But America lost a prized prep school recruit to those crazy Europeans.
Rather than just playing college basketball like most gifted ballers, Arizona commit Brandon Jennings opted to play overseas yesterday — also indirectly strengthening his underlying support of taxation without representation.
But it’s no Tea party in T-town. Or is it? The debate whether Jennings would’ve revitalized basketball in Tucson goes on for now. Why? (*Que the Stewie Griffin voice*) Because, dammit, we are a free country with free speech! No more fireworks and Fourth of July parties for you, Mr. Jennings! No more Thanksgiving! Or In-N-Out burgers! Or people that actually care about sports that don’t begin with an S and end with OCCER!
Have fun watching EuroSPN or whatever floats over those ancient bloody airwaves. And remember, upon your return to Madison Square Garden for the second round of the 2009 NBA Draft, don’t forget your passport. Because Americans can travel without it!
WAZZAM! That. Just. Happened.
Stay strong, America.
And you thought SpyGate was a long, painful and over dramatic wait.
Now with just as many twists and thumb-twiddling days, The Brandon Jennings Saga officially became a Name+Gate easy-to-recognize-sports-related-soap-opera.
JenningsGate suffered yet another setback today, with yet another delay in receiving the do-or-die SAT test results of the nation’s top ranked incoming college basketball prospect.
University of Arizona recruit Brandon Jennings took the SAT for a third time after the NCAA red-flagged his second attempt at becoming eligible. His first test, which failed to meet NCAA student-athlete academic standards, was taken in Compton, while the second one he passed was taken on the prestigious campus of Oak Hill Academy.
The drastic jump in scores called for a recount, resulting in a re-retake on June 7, but Jennings’ scores have been delayed twice by College Board. (Figures, out of the entire country, Jennings gets placed in the “Yeah, You’re The Random Car Going Through The Full DUI Checkpoint Ordeal” category — even worse than the odds of getting gunned down by Homeland Security as a white businessman with a fancy Bluetooth headset passing through airport security.)
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Here’s an SAT prep question for Brandon Jennings:
Which activity(s) does the chick pictured (right) have on her resume?
A. Truck driver
B. Garbage collector
C. Hockey goalie
D. Air Force ROTC cadet
E. Both C and D
The correct answer: E.
I am just absolutely floored to see God’s gift to the world covered in hockey goalie gear, as seen after the jump:
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Categories: Other NCAA, Would You Beat? Tags: air force, Brandon Jennings, bust it baby, goalie, hocky, miss america, penn state, rotc, SAT, Sexy, tara, virginia, wheeler
