We know that Brett Favre’s 33 touchdown passes last season meant that Wrangler donated 3,300 pairs of jeans to boys and girls assisted by the Brett Favre Fourward Foundation.
What we just discovered is that this little douchebag didn’t get any. And that pisses him off. So he made a parody commercial making fun of Favre’s Wrangler commercial.
Brett Favre AND Jen Sterger? It’s the blockbuster of the century!
In an effort to boost the performance — and of course, ratings — of its game day performance, the New York Jets acquired lil’ miss sassy herself, Jen Sterger, along with one of the greatest signal callers of all time.
As evident by this edition of Would You Beat? the Jets scored big time, on and off the course. There’s no question, though, that Favre will have competition in the looks department. And he’s very sad about this.
Go inside for more pictures of the new face of the Jets (and we don’t mean Favre.)
It’s funny how things work out conveniently around the same time that other things work out. A-Rod is giving to Madonna’s charity just weeks after it was announced that he and his wife, Cynthia, would be getting a divorce, which was right after it was rumored that A-Rod and Madonna were doing the mattress mambo.
Now, news has been released that Brett Favre’s arm is tired in just his fifth practice with the Jets. Sure, Favre is 38, but it’s also bad timing on his part. The Jets recently announced another new member of the team: busty Jenn Sterger.
Now, we’re not the greatest mathematicians in the world. That’s why we’re sports bloggers. But if we do a slight calculation, add a four, carry the one, etc., we get a sum of Favre beating his meat with his throwing hand to the image of Sterger in Jets gear.
Just a coincidence? We think not.
We’ve reached our first round finale! Tomorrow, TSC will post an updated bracket with the completed first round, and compare against our registered bracketologists. For now, just vote for who you think is “Not Now.”
No. 8 Brett Favre, Green Bay? starting? quarterback vs. No. 9 Sammy Sosa, corked bat specialist.
Why Favre is Not Now: Nobody gets more “Now” than Brett Favre as I type. For weeks, the retired Green Bay legend has written and rewritten the sports pages, putting us in double digits for “Overkilled Sports Dramas in the Past 16 Months.” It doesn’t need to be spelled out for anybody — FavreGate has taken more twists than a Kaleidoscope at a science fair. But unlike Bonds, Clemens or Vick, the mainstream media has an unhealthy mancrush on Favre, setting forth a twisted perception that anything Favre does turns to gold. Damn Kaleidoscope. But no, he’s plotted this enormous attention-whorelike drama to keep us watching SportsCenter during the dog days of summer.
Why Sosa is Not Now: Sluggin’ Sammy retired a few months ago after initially putting on an exciting show 
for us back in the late 90s. We marveled at his broken English and ate up his chase with Big Mac during that historic 1998 chase for Roger Maris season. Sosa always trailed a few homers behind Big Mac; and to compensate those deep, inner feelings of being overshadowed during the greatest home run chase ever, Sammy used a corked bat in 2003. Granted, we will always remember the heart-warming hug between Sosa and Big Mac when No. 62 barley scraped over the wall in St. Louis, but if we’re talking post-1998 legacies, Sosa went downhill faster than Miley Cyrus in 2010 (yeah, that’s a prediction, and a very good one at that).
TSC chooses: Favre.
Now vote to your right, dammit!