Theo Epstein lookalike presents the Celtics trophy in Vermont over the weekend. No word yet on whether Paul Pierce has returned from Vegas. Photo courtesy Zach / For the Culture.
Research shows that when a straight male takes off his shirt in a room with large sweaty men, it’s a lot less exciting than when it happens with sexy dancers.
Big Baby, we’ve seen your man-boobs already before, drenched in champagne with dudes. But that’s not how a World Champion should roll. Why not provide a better scenario like, oh, say, a bar with skimpy Celtics dancers that would do anything to “make the team.”
Shazam! Welcome to July 24, 2008, where anything is possible! (Just ask Michelle Tafoya — KG said so). Big Baby served as a judge in last night’s 2008 Celtics Dancers finals at some sketch-lookin’ bar. (Seriously, that shimmy green light reflecting on the old hardwood makes these dancers looks dirrrty).
Below the jump, some addition pics, courtesy of Boston.com, with a chance for your voice — rate those gals.
Sure, the Boston Celtics captured the biggest single-season comeback in NBA history this year, but has 2008 already eclipsed the biggest one-year sports turnaround in… Earth history?
Those daunting memories of sports in 2007 are over; Michael Vick is locked up, Tim Donaghy is on his way, Pacman Adam Jones is a good guy again, SpyGate is dead, and both Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens have crawled into a hole.
And already, just over seven months into 2008, we could already be putting this historic year in contention for “Best. Year. Ever.” honors. In wake of our fifth epic sporting event (Wimbledon), here’s why:
How did we all miss this?
This dude put his wife up for trade on Craigslist. We understand it was a huge year for the Boston Celtics, but even TSC’s Boston-based writer B-Roy wouldn’t lend his wife’s cookie to a stranger for two-and-a-half hours of watching sweaty men run up and down the floor. (No worries, ladies, B-Roy isn’t married. It was just an example).
Take note that this man requested TWO (2) tickets. He’s giving up Sweet Lady Vagina for them. So he’s either got a super model friend who really digs the Celtics or he’s got a boyfriend who really digs the Celtics.
Fresh off serving her suspension for comparing Celtics supporters to Hitler, Jemele Hill is back with a kiss-and-make-up free-of-controversy-column on how the NBA Western Conference was overrated.
Check that (like Jim Rome interviewing Chris Everett):
The past few Western Conference teams in the Finals have had one very obvious character flaw:
They’ve been softer than John Daly’s midsection.
Woooooahhhhh. Now, now. About seven million Americans are Jewish. OK. HOW-EH-VA: Approximately 127 million adults in the U.S. are overweight. The middle part of such vend diagram? Unknown.
Heavily-favored bidder Anonymous won another auction for charity this afternoon. This time, defying Earth’s modern day atmosphere, he received a suit that has been wet for over a week.
Such never-dry technology has yet to reached the budget of your common middle-class mankind. It netted $55,000 for The Shamrock Foundation, the assumed laboratory of never-dry technology.
The experiment, which took place before a basketball game interrupted things, went down as the first controlled indoors Gatorade-dumping record in modern day sports history.
With that much money, why wouldn’t Anonymous spend about 12 hours with her.
