Thank God Alicia Sacramone was left out of this.

There’s no. Fucking. Way. These Chinese gymnasts are 16 years old.

And here’s a few reasons why:

According to some sketch-ass forum, this chick is 16.

And so is the preggers Jamie Lynne Spears. (Noteworthy: pregnant. Meaning: bearing a child.)

Even this DVD is about newly-turned — and ridiculously spoiled – 16-year-olds, which even features an episode about this chick.

Seriously, in the name of Chris Hansen, there’s no way that these three Chinagirls are actually 16+ years old.

Hell, fucking Miley Cyrus is only 15. Granted, she may be the next-bound Pre-teen Gone Brittany/Lohan; but still, only 15 years old?

I felt gracious giving these Girls Chosen From Birth 9, 11, and 10 years old max.

Even Hilary Duff looked somewhat ‘mature’ at 15.

What’s your rating?

[ratings]

Word associate. Asia. First four. GO:

• Chinese food
• Anime
• Squinty eyes
• Dragons

Those mere stereotypes might fly on off-beat sports blogs, but when the Spanish Olympic basketball team mocks 50 percent of that list in a photo — in Asia of all places — it’s probably not going to fly.

And that’s the word going around the world. Now, Howie Mandel asks you: “Racist? Or no Racist?”

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Obviously not — they’re just really, really good. But as the Olympics kick off in Beijing today, it’s something to ponder, not only about the hoopers, but regarding all Olympic athletes with more ink splurged around than a messy, ugly printer paper jam.

A new study shows that some dopers may be drugging up through tattoo needles, giving athletes some art and bulk at the same time. Tat needles “increase the effect of drugs, meaning athletes can take smaller doses and ‘fly under the radar’ in dope tests.”

Interestingly enough, the man pictured below should have broken a few Olympic world records in multiple events. Pre-Olympic drug testing, however, found that he was on loads of steroids. And in four years, he’ll be really screwed:

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Ever since the Chinese government pulled that bullshit capture of Jack Bauer, I haven’t been a big fan of the pork fried rice free samples at the mall. But the Lo Mein Warriors took one step in the right direction today, releasing its list of banned and restricted items for Olympic spectators.

Not sure whether it’s safe knowing that security used this same list for the Kanye West Glow In The Dark Tour. (Yeah, the douchebag rent-a-cop made me throw away my lanyard and hide my buddy’s digital camera next to a cactus. I was thisclose to not finding it after the concert.)

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