The Sports Culture reader Mike arriving back to Boston College after a Sox game

[From our sister blog, The Booze Buzz]:

A recent report from Boston College’s independent newspaper claims that authorities there are determined to crack down on student drinking during traditional drinking holidays (you know, Halloween, St. Patty’s Day, Easter, etc). If this trend continues, it could be the scariest thing to come out of BC since Doug Flutie.

Experts have coined the term ‘Alcoholiday’ – kudos to them for their clever naming abilities–and have figured out that they can ruin everyone’s fun by raising police presence during these days.

But what would New Year’s Eve be without drinking six bottles of champagne? What would Arbor Day be like if we didn’t drink a half gallon of vodka while thinking about planting trees? Are fireworks that impressive when you’re not holding an empty bottle of whiskey?

[Keep reading]

Robert Paxton, shown at right helping Sweet Sue get her drunk on with a mini keg, is your average college president. He only wants what’s best for the students of Iowa Central Community College, even as they get shitty on this July 4 at West Lake Okoboji.

Now, this wouldn’t be such a bad thing if Paxton was a student-president. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal if he was even in his late 20s or early 30s. But Paxton, 52, is your real-life Blue Palasky.

Paxton’s comeback? It was part of his personal life, not his college life.

“I take the kids out water-skiing, stop for a few minutes — and they’re not even kids,” Paxton said. “There was a 27- or 28-year-old on there, a 24-year-old on there, you know. It’s my own private life.”

Well guess what, Mr. Paxton Palasky? That means you’re old enough to be their father. Which is creepy and reminds us of a certain other president from the 1998 era.

God bless America.

When you’re at a baseball game with two teams that are a combined 29 games out of first place — Oakland and Kansas City — there really is no point to go inside the stadium. Especially when you have parking lot entertainment like this.

Please notice the skill of this dude. He kept his dog and his Miller Light in his left hand — sacrificing a dry bun, no less — to keep his rap hand free. And that’s important.

Want to measure the level of humiliation that the UGA football team is facing? Look no further than the lede paragraph on their student newspaper’s breaking news story on RedAndBlack.com:

“Another day, another suspension.”

It’s gotten that bad in Athens. Georgia coach Mark Richt has suspended six players from playing in the Aug 30 season-opener (as the No. 1-ranked team in preseason polls). Here’s your laundry list of Dawgs serving suspension time in the dawg pound:

(Note: UGA football being UGA football pictured to your right).

1. Darius Dewberry: Seen on a hospital videotape overturning trash cans and causing other damage.
2. Jeff Henson: Arrested and charged with public intoxication and urinating in public. (Also charged with a DUI last November; suspended for the Sugar Bowl.)
3. Donavon Baldwin: DUI arrest in January, then suspended indefinitely after an unrelated incident at a bar.
4. Fred Munzenmaier: Alcohol-related incident.
5. Clint Boling: Reckless-driving charge.
6. Michael Lemon: Charged with felony battery last month for allegedly punching a student and breaking his eye socket. Kicked off the team.
7. (Unrelated, but still noteworthy) UGA VI (mascot): Dead.

Fellow UGA teammates Donovan Baldwin and Marcus Dowtin are now being treated for injuries suffered in a bar fight earlier Sunday morning.

Should be a fun banquet at the end of the season!

The Princeton Review released its list of top party schools today, proving once again its writers have absolutely no idea what really goes on at schools.

Why They Suck:

• First off, how anyone can gauge a meter of “bigger” party school than others is absurd. Obviously, the bigger schools have bigger parties; that’s just standard math. Jokeshow schools like Montana State Junior Bumfuck College shouldn’t even be considered.
• And neither should any non-warm weather Sun Belt school inside the top-10, with the exception of Wisconsin.
• With that said, what in God’s name is Randolph-Macon College doing ranked SIXTH!?!?! And the University of New Hampshire at ELEVENTH!? It goes without saying those schools could never compare to Wisconsin, Ohio State, Michigan, UCLA, San Diego State and Arizona — but oh yeah, those six renowned schools were left off the list.

What am I going to do about it? Based on our biased personal and business experiences, here’s The Sports Culture’s Top 20 Party Schools nationwide:

Read more…

This news story reminds me of this YouTube video — a personal favorite of mine.

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — State Police arrested a man early Tuesday whose blood alcohol level allegedly was .491 — more than six times the legal limit — which they believe is the highest ever recorded in Rhode Island for someone who wasn’t dead.

A Breathalyzer test showed Kobierowski had blood alcohol readings of .489 followed by .491, O’Donnell said, the highest readings anyone at the State Police or the Department of Health could remember for someone who didn’t end up dead. (WHDH Boston)

Seriously? .491? Anytime someone blows a higher BAC than the baseball’s leading batting average — currently Chipper Jones, .371 — and survives, that’s a pretty big deal.

Found this on the ‘Stool and The Dirty.