This news story reminds me of this YouTube video — a personal favorite of mine.

PROVIDENCE, R.I. — State Police arrested a man early Tuesday whose blood alcohol level allegedly was .491 — more than six times the legal limit — which they believe is the highest ever recorded in Rhode Island for someone who wasn’t dead.

A Breathalyzer test showed Kobierowski had blood alcohol readings of .489 followed by .491, O’Donnell said, the highest readings anyone at the State Police or the Department of Health could remember for someone who didn’t end up dead. (WHDH Boston)

Seriously? .491? Anytime someone blows a higher BAC than the baseball’s leading batting average — currently Chipper Jones, .371 — and survives, that’s a pretty big deal.

Found this on the ‘Stool and The Dirty.

Why do the baddest dudes always get the most smokin’ babes?

Marcus Vick, the brother of scumbag Michael Vick, was arrested (again) on Friday for driving under the influence, reckless driving, driving with a suspended license and eluding police. His very sexy passenger, Delicia Lenora Cordon was charged with being drunk in public and two counts of inducing boners to law enforcement officers.

Absolutely stunning pictures of her after the jump. She makes J-Lo’s booty look like a product of iHop’s 99-cent pancake breakfast special.

Read more…

Our findings all set nicely in a picnic basket, sorted as The Big Three:

• Kobe Bryant, slightly gay basketball player. He got a manicure before Game 2. PS: His wife’s right tit looks funky in the corresponding picture. (The Big Lead) Then again, it’s the same thing Michael Jordan did when he was in his prime. Maybe gay is OK.
• Troy Percival still resorts to the “Your Mom” jokes ever so often — at fans. (Deadspin).
• News item: Man drove around drunk in effort to sober up so his mom wouldn’t be mad at him coming home hammered. Cops booked him for a DUI, and it’s a true story. (Barstool Sports)