Would LBJ really bounce to Europe for a fat paycheck? Here’s what’s being said about it around the blogosphere:
Here’s a video of Brandon Jennings speaking through an interpreter to the media in Rome. Though his interpreter did a great job (we think, hell we don’t really know) of getting Jennings’ point across to the media, she didn’t touch on what he really said. That’s where TSC comes into play. We cracked open up our Jennings-to-Reality dictionary and have decoded what he really said.
The reason why I chose to come here is because, you know, I wanted to develop. You know, a lot of kids who come overseas, they play, they’re always developing, they’re always ready. They always fit in, you know, in the NBA. So I feel like this is the perfect opportunity for me.
Translation: Since I couldn’t qualify academically to play Division I basketball for one of the elite programs in the nation, I had three options: Play junior college basketball, become a spokesman for McDonald’s or play overseas. With that in mind, it’s true that I will be playing professionally against some guys that will prepare me for the NBA.
I talked to Coach. He said come in and listen and he said they’ll teach me all the things to do.
Translation: I’m just gonna play ball.
There’s no better modern-day sensation than turning nouns into verbs. Example one:
Dude1: “Yo, bro, let’s ball it up at the Rec center.”
Dude2: “Ya man, let me just motorboat this chick first.”
In both instances, ball and motorboat are both nouns. Such new, expanded vocabulary allows us to express our thoughts and actions through more creative and practical means.
Which leads us to this exchange:
Dude3: “That dude was waaaaay too Vujacicy for me.”
Dude4: “Ya, the popped collar, tight jeans and douchebag hair product could make even Sasha cringe.”
Technically, Bill Simmons coined this term in a recent podcast — not that we listen. Nevertheless, the verb “vujacicy” describes a “fruity” or “flamboyant” person and/or personality. For those keeping score, it derives from the 2008 NBA Finals, when word got around that Sasha Vujacic wore a headband per the recommendation of the Lakers’ cheerleading coach.
Today, the La la Times reports that Sasha might be taking his act eastward over the pond, amidst a recent ‘trend’ set fourth by founding fathers Brandon Jennings and Josh Childress.
Great for you, Sasha. I think Europe would welcome the whole “Vujacicy” motion more than Americans Celtics fans. Europe just seems more accepting to the metro style. Or maybe it’s just because Tim Hardaway calls this land his home.
TSC Intelligence has learned that Brandon Jennings may be signing a shoe contract with Under Armour in the near future. This would mark yet another first for the American basketball prep school star who bypassed the University of Arizona in favor of getting a big check in Italy.
Oh yeah, and then there was that whole thing about him having to take the SAT exam three times.
If Jennings signed with Under Armour — instead of Nike, Reebok or Adidas — it would definitely help put UA on the map, as it’s trying to establish more land and credibility worldwide through other products that don’t wick your sweat.
The funny thing is, however, that Under Armour has a footwear section on its American Web site, but there’s no such thing on it’s European site. Weird.
TSC thinks this would be a bold move by Jennings — the universal trend setter. What do you think about Jennings possibly signing with UA?
Editor’s Note: Check out TSC’s exclusive gear at shop.thesportsculture.com. We’ve even got a Brandon Jennings t-shirt.
Today really doesn’t matter in the world of Brandon Jennings. Once the best high school player in the nation, according to ESPN and Scout.com, Jennings was going to play at the University of Arizona, so long as he passed his SAT exam.
The results for his third exam are due to come out today. But it doesn’t matter. Jennings has already decided that he’s going to play ball in Europe for a year, somewhere near this dude’s ass crack.
Dear Brandon,
Good luck making the transition. I once played a sport that my homeland loved, but chose to move across the pond for some extra dough. Fact is, they still don’t really care about my sport. Or about me. I probably wouldn’t advise this move, but oh well!
Sincerely,
David Beckham.
Call him a trendsetter; call him an idiot; even call him a word in a funny language we don’t understand. But America lost a prized prep school recruit to those crazy Europeans.
Rather than just playing college basketball like most gifted ballers, Arizona commit Brandon Jennings opted to play overseas yesterday — also indirectly strengthening his underlying support of taxation without representation.
But it’s no Tea party in T-town. Or is it? The debate whether Jennings would’ve revitalized basketball in Tucson goes on for now. Why? (*Que the Stewie Griffin voice*) Because, dammit, we are a free country with free speech! No more fireworks and Fourth of July parties for you, Mr. Jennings! No more Thanksgiving! Or In-N-Out burgers! Or people that actually care about sports that don’t begin with an S and end with OCCER!
Have fun watching EuroSPN or whatever floats over those ancient bloody airwaves. And remember, upon your return to Madison Square Garden for the second round of the 2009 NBA Draft, don’t forget your passport. Because Americans can travel without it!
WAZZAM! That. Just. Happened.
Stay strong, America.