David Hayes spent an afternoon bonding with his three-year-old Alyssa recently. He was throwing back some pops and she was throwing back some Sunny D’s. They shared many laughs and many crackers.

When they ran out of snacks, Alyssa suddenly had to go potty. At least that’s what she said. She was really inside getting more food, but never mind that. While she was gone, her Barbie poll began to shake. Hayes wipped the cracker crumbs from his lips and waddled to the pink poll.

After a battle, Hayes managed to pull in the channel catfish. At 21 pounds, one ounce, the man broke the North Carolina state record, but didn’t break the Barbie poll. At 32 inches long, the fish is two inches longer than the Barbie poll.

The family celebrated by eating a lot more crackers.

It’s no secret that Michael Phelps has some new admirers that he didn’t have two weeks ago. That includes crushes from ladies all over the planet. Even AT&T has jumped on the bandwagon of love and fanship.

We can guarantee, however, that there are new Phelps Phans that the swimmer wouldn’t touch with a 10-foot poll. This Ms. Piggy look-alike is a good example. What a jewel.

But to answer your question, Ms. Piggy: No, Phelps is not gay. You haven’t seen him with a woman because the only time you’ve seen him in your life is in the past week-and-a-half because you turned on the television (surprise) instead of walking your fat ass on a treadmill and you wanted to tune into what the rest of the world was witnessing.

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