Looks like Shaq Diesel got himself a new little car. Literally. It looks like a toy beneath him.

Word on the streets is that Aston Martin contacted Shaq’s publicist asking if he’d like to jump over a speeding car of theirs and put it on the Internet. If he did, they said they’d give it to him for free and they’d contact the guys at Jackass and set up a stunt involving snakes and a midget. But Shaq said his knees were giving out more and more as he’s getting older, so he settled for a car that he could step over instead. Plus, he’s afraid of midgets and snakes.

It’ll get better gas mileage and be able to maneuver through Phoenix traffic better, too. Another good reason for him to be driving this little blue jewel in the desert is that he’ll hardly ever encounter rain. Good thing, too, because he’ll probably never get the roof closed on that thing.

Click below to see more pics of Shaq playing with cars. Also, let us know if you think he’s part of the Scissor Gang Mafia! We certainly think so.

Read more…

ESPN pulled a Roger Clemens. No, it didn’t misremember. It was caught in a cheating scandal.

The Disney-owned ESPN has asked its local affiliates to stop airing an ad for AshleyMadison.com, an online dating site that promotes cheating on significant others. “Life is short. Have an affair,” is the site’s trademarked slogan. Scaaaaaandalous.

The president of the Web site, Noel Biderman said he thought a double standard was applied to his company because ESPN runs beer commercials and the like. He’s also spending more than $1 million in advertising on other channels such as CNN, MSNBC, FOX, FOX NEWS and SPIKE.

There’s no doubt AshleyMadison.com will take a huge hit as a result of being cut from ESPN, which has a large viewership from men and women alike. And Spike TV, which mainly targets men 18-49, is going to make the site suffer if it ever cuts it off. But why the hell are the news channels involved? If you want to target horny, cheating Internet lovers, hit up VH1, MTV and UPN.

And get wired into Clemens’ house, Kobe Bryant’s house and most certainly Alex Rodriguez’s house.

Shaquille O’Neal is a very marketable figure — there’s no question about it. But when Shaq-Fu took the stage of a NYC nightclub and told Kobe to tell him how his ass tastes, you can almost be certain he didn’t have a marketing scheme hidden under his sleeves.

But after the rap, vendors of all sorts got creative and discovered ways for Kobe Bryant’s humility to live forever. One company created a ringtone that you can download for free. Then there were those who wanted a more visual representation of the rap, which they would sell for profit. Absolutely brilliant.

Cha-Ching!

As he came out of a restaurant with his wife, Kelis, Nas was approached by a TMZ.com crew. The rapper sided with Shaq’s rap against Kobe Bryant and jumped straight at No. 24’s throat.

“Shaq is my man, fuck Kobe,” he said. “Shaq is my man. Big up to Shaq.”

These are no new feelings for Nas. He has dissed Bryant before. In a song called “These Our Are Heroes (Coon Picnic),” the rapper called out Kobe:

Uh, Massa used to breed us to be bigger to go play
Athletes of today in the NBA, make me proud
But there’s somethin’ they don’t say
Keep gettin’ accused for abusin’ White pussay
From OJ to Kobe, uh let’s call him Tobe
First he played his life cool just like Michael
Now he rock ice too just like I do
Yo, you can’t do better than that?
The hotel clerk who adjusts the bathroom mat?
Now you lose sponsorships that you thought had your back
Yeah, you beat the rap jiggaboo, fake nigga you
You turn around then you shit on Shaq

Meanwhile, Shaq said he loves Kobe and this wacky-ass wannabe MC puts Diesel down in the funniest way. Well, it’s pretty funny until he starts rapping. Then it’s pretty bogus.

Read more…

Kobe Bryant wasn’t in town to hear Shaq tell him to taste his ass. In fact, he wasn’t even in the country.

Right after the Lakers’ were smashed by the Celtics in the NBA Finals, Bryant and his family bolted to Cabo San Lucas to get away from the embarrassment, the media and the paparazzi.

The latter swooped in on shots of Kobe’s bootylicious wife, Vanessa, and Kobe taking pictures of her.

Katelyn Faber ain’t got nothin’ on Vanessa.

Click the jump for more photos of Kobe’s Wife.

Read more…

We all know Shaq doesn’t “give a shit” about what he says — that’s why we like him. But last night’s freestyle raps in NYC brought The Big Sahuaro from “Like it” to “Gotta Have it” on our Cold Stone Athlete Appreciation Scale.

The Phoenix Suns center was in the club spitting like he’s done before, but with a twist. He whipped out a freestyle rap aimed directly at his former teammate Kobe Bryant. He smiled often, even though he brought up the subject of Kobe destroying his marriage.

“I’m a horse, Kobe ratted me out, that’s why I’m getting divorced.”

This stems from a comment Kobe made right after he raped that white girl in Colorado.
Read more…