• Lost the Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback spot to Kurt Warner.
• Lost the Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback spot to someone old enough to be his Uncle.
• Realized he would probably even lose the Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback spot to these little kids.
• Debuted the ‘Dangerous Elbow’ move that would put him on Dateline NBC with Chris Hansen.
• Determined not to fuck up anymore than he already has professionally.
• Made us think he should probably not be around any underage children (see: ASU coeds).
• Made children who wanted to see a non-Joke Show NFL player unhappy.
• Smelled bacon.

New England Patriots career backup quarterback, Matt Cassel, could have found another a career in the signing and dancing industry — a career where he actually performs. (Take notes, Matt Lienart, on safe alternatives to killing time in the off-season)

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