At the University of Oregon, the recruiting staff attracts their prospective football players by creating a gaudy, cheesy magazine cover — like that fifth-grade history project you reluctantly did about some joke-show president.

Common now, Euguene, Ore. You would think The Town That Nike Built could throw together bait appeals to more than just 9-year-olds. These 18-year old football players want a school with Fresh DTF Freshmen, not some corny art project.

In honor of Oregon’s lame efforts, here’s what The Sports Culture University puts together in its recruiting packages during official on-campus visits.

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