Wonder if she still has her eyebrows

Let’s go back to elementary school. I spy, with my little eye:

12 Solo Red Cups

A five gallon Home Depot bucket

Three empty bottles (Apple juice, water and water)

Two Keystone Light cans

One Package of steak? (In between the legs)

One Flannel dog bed

One Passed Out Slut

This photo may have been photographed at Matt Leinart’s Phoenix-area home the night he found out he wasn’t going to be the Cardinals’ starting QB this season.

Via (TheDirty)

According this hoochi, Lisa Miceli, she’s the mother of Michael Jordan’s son. The 35-year-old was released from jail Friday after saying she would leave the greatest NBA baller alive.

She was jailed after she kept stalking MJ even after two DNA tests proved that he was the boy’s father. She said she’ll continue to fight to prove that MJ is the 4-year-old’s son, however, in hopes of sucking on the teet of Jordan’s bajillions of dollars.

Question for Jordan if he is in fact this kid’s pops: Why!?!?

You’re Michael Fucking JORDAN! This gal isn’t hideous but she’s got chubby cheeks, streaked hair and a slutty aurora.

Stay strong your royal airness. We’re sure this is just one of thousands of ho-bags who wishes you were their boo.

Through the voice of Jeanne Zelasko:

“What happens when a 55-year-old overweight Cardinals fan throws perfect game! At Busch Stadium, nevertheless! It’s the Cougar! The Fan! Lovefest 2008! Saturday afternoon! Yelling! Live from St. Louis! Next on FOX!”

TheDirty.com brings us another tale from the bleachers, this time coming in a statutory-esque manner. According to the site,

“From the start of the game the girl was making out with the old man and standing up to show off her huge butt with the thong hanging out of her jeans.”

Read more…

In response to Fresno State (who?) upsetting the No. 3 ASU baseball team 12-9 on Monday night to clinch its first College World Series appearance since 1991 (when?) . . .

The last time I saw a Sun Devil choke (literally) that badly was . . .

Former ASU cheerleader Courtney “Cox” Simpson. (Technically, she choked over 100 250 times, too.)

My College World Series pick: Miami. Just for putting a kid named Yonder on their roster. (He’s pretty good, too.)